The universe is going down the plughole. It really is. I used to think the epicentre of this phenomenon was Swindon, but apparently there's a place far far away that's sucking in galaxies at a huge rate. I learned that from a science program on television last night.

Science is fun. Now before you all click on a link to another part of the world wide interesting net, bear with me. You see, I had this sort of conversation with J a couple of days ago. I made an observation that the science program was something interesting and that for the sake of his braincells he ought to watch it. Life is a learning process after all. I then carelessly made the assertion that science was better than sex.

"I don't think so, Caldrail" He chortled, "It isn't like you need periodic tables and test tubes."

Oh? I sort of got the impression that you did need them these days.

Where It All Went Wrong

Today was the visit of the big bosses from someplace else. Head office tyrants have a notorious reputation in this particular department store, so we spent the day tidying up the place with explicit instructions to ignore any requests made by the store managers. It really was that important to our survival as stock assistants.

I got caught wearing a silly baseball cap. "Take that hat off please!" Ordered the store manager. I thought I was supposed to ignore her? Ummm... Maybe I'd better obey. As the pressure became more intense when the big bosses arrived we ended up in a sort of chase scene in our very own virtual thriller movie, that cliched action sequence when the heroes go up and down in the lift avoiding anyone important.

At the very last moment J caught me unawares and requested I tidy the cushions piled behind the liftshaft. You have to be joking. Death by soft furnishings. I wanted to be an astronaut when I grew up. What went wrong?

And Her Name Is...

Oh yeah. I was supposed to rename Miss A this afternoon wasn't I? Well... I was too busy to come up with one and to be honest, she was too stressed out to bother either. So I guess we'll sort of leave it as it is.