Previously I've mentioned our resident dragon. His party trick of issuing dark smoke from his lungs has got us all curious and earned him the nickname Mistymouth. Today I spotted him on the search for precious stones and knights in armour amongst our boxes, and I decided to confront the creature and demand to know how he breathed fire. I now have the answer, but let's make a quiz of it.

How did Mistymouth breath smoke?

a - A quick, furtive, illegal, and highly dangerous lit cigarette?

b - By living close to the edge of spontaneous combustion?

c - His previous life was as a volcano?

d - A severe case of halitosis?

e - Escape and evasion training when he was with the SAS?

Answer at the bottom of this blog entry.

All In The Name

Miss A has discovered my blog. Well, okay, almost discovered it. She knows of its existence. However, she's none too impressed about being called Miss A. I guess it sounds too prim and proper for her. So tomorrow she will be renamed in a grand blog ceremony and has been given 24 hours to come up with something she likes or find herself given another moniker by default. That, believe you me, is a tough decision for a young lady whose decision making process involves increasing her phone bill by 200%

Part of the deal for giving her 24 hours to render herself bankrupt was that she revealed the secret nickname the girls call me down on the shop floor. Sorry, but that name remains a secret known only to department store personnel on the grounds that no-one would believe it anyway.

Tough In The Stockroom

Some people are never grateful. In particular bosses seem to be psychologically unable to comprehend that people are not robots, nor as well paid or swimming in perks as they are.

KS, bless his cotton socks, cleared up the old dungeon at the back of the stockroom today as requested. That was no mean task. Several employees went missing in there some time ago and KS did mention finding some fossils. The thing that gets me though is where did he put all the dust? I mean, if all you do is sweep it to one side with a broom it merely moves from one point on the floor to another. What did he do, suck it all up like a human vacuum cleaner? His life-or-death struggle with dust mites went on unnoticed. Poor lad was moaning about all the dirt encrusted on his hands afterward.

Erm... Just a little helpful hint for anyone that finds themselves with a similar problem... Use some soap and water to wash it off afterward. Most workplaces have facilities that can cope with this demanding task.

I on the other hand rolled up my sleeve and restacked the piles of carboard boxes again. What is it with people there? Is this some sort of party game where you have to turn boxes around so you can't read the reference number? Or is the idea to try and stack boxes in such a way as to defy gravity? Or are they awarded points for stacking in the most sanity-busting original way?

Sadly soap and water didn't cure my problem and instead I had to resort to upper body strength to make the beige wasteland safe for human habitation once more.

You would think our heroic efforts would be appreciated, but no, the boss spotted us standing idle and chatting. Clearly that was all we'd been doing all day and the recriminations began. A special thanks to J for congratulating us on our efforts today and for shielding us from the end of level boss. Tomorrow we progress to the next level of difficulty.

The Quiz Answer

So what answer did you choose?

If you answered a you have a logical and very suspicious mind. Clearly management potential.

If you answered b you have no idea about reality at all. Clearly management potential.

If you answered c then you obviously hadn't paid any attention to geography at school and must have been more interested in sports which looks very impressive in the hobbies and interests section on your CV. Clearly management potential.

If you answered d you don't know what halitosis is. That must mean that bad breath is a foreign concept to you, and since you clearly belong to life's beautiful people, you are therefore management potential.

If you answered e you have no idea at all about special forces training, or even military studies, and since you must therefore be ignorant of team building skills you're clearly management potential.

If you answered f then pat yourself on the back. Yes, it was just a nicotine-substitute thingy that allows you to smoke safely and healthily without anyone noticing, and since you must be sharp witted, knowledgeable, and aware of current facilities to assist sufferers of cigarette addiction, you clearly have no management potential at all. So go and restack some more boxes. Oh, and make sure you can eat your dinner off that stockroom floor.