Welcome back to Caldrail FM, and for those just tuning in, it's a special hello to J, my stockroom supervisor, who's just discovered this blog and is probably sneaking into the office to read it as I write.

Hi Mr J. Love the nunchucks.

Meeting People

leaving work just now I bumped into Sophie again. She's a lovely blonde lady who does all this charity work, where she lulls you into a false sense of security then gets you to sign away all your money for gay eco-deaf children or whatever. By now I'm used to this sort of thing so instead I chatted her up for a few minutes.

Her friend is from New Zealand. We both watched him scare passers-by and fail totally to raise conversation, never mind money.

"Do you want to hear my spiel now?" She asked nicely.

Nope. Nice Seeing ya, Soph... Next week okay?

Meeting The Stockroom Boss

We don't get much managerial attention up on the haunted top floor, but today, our manager turned up in civilian clothes, looking like a scarecrow in a football shirt. It turns out that he's a bigger and louder looney than anyone else on the premises (including me) and I seriously had my work cut out making a fool of myself with that sort of competition. Nedless to say, Caldrail FM swung it. My constant radio chatter in the aisles attracted much comment. Any publicity is good news. That's showbizz.

Meeting The Lift

The lift to the loading bay has a serious attitude. It's already tried to kill me once before, crushing me against the boxes by closing it's doors without warning. Today was no different. With an afternoon emergency to cope with our team of selected expert unloaders were assigned the dangerous and heroic task of clearing the bay of everything left untouched during the week. With no other course of action available to us, we had to fill the lift with boxes to take upstairs, and not suprisingly, the lift tried to kill me again. It sulked over it's failure too, refusing to operate. usually I would have said that I'd broken the lift. This time? I got threatened by a psychopathic access facility.

Well that just about wraps up todays program... So it's goodbye from me, Caldrail, your host on Caldrail FM. I'll leave you with Deep Purple's hit, Strange Kind Of Cardboard...

Strange Kind Of Cardboard

I once found some cardboard

A strange kind of cardboard

The kind that gets written down in history

It looked kinda brown

Left there on the ground

What's inside is just another mystery

I want it, I need it

I gotta see in it

I want my box on the nearest stack

I want it, I need it

Recycle, and crush it

Maybe if I just open it a tiny crack

(guitar solo)

Newsflash

We interrupt this song for an important newsflash. Today was the dullest ever. KS was so bored he was driven to hide my red pen. He is such a child. We ask the public not to panic as the Pen Police have found the missing writing implement and it's been returned to the grateful owner.