I have changed my mind. Such a decisive moment in my life is somewhat rare these days, but hey, there you go. The subject of this mighty mental re-evaluation is of course Star Trek. I've always dismissed Voyager as a bit wishy-washy, but after all this time and endless repeats of all the series, I'm starting to think Captain Janeway's politically correct attempt to reach home is the one that's maturing the best.

The old Star Trek, the original, with all those iconic characters is of course pure sixties in scope. The Next Generation is looking a bit wooden and staid in places. To my utter horror, Deep Space Nine is resembling a parody of the universe I've come to know as well as my own. Enterprise? Never did grab you, did it? The characters all seemed so... well... uninspired.

In the boredom of working in the stockroom alone (more on that later) I pondered how our Star Trek heroes would run the department store. James T Kirk would be facing a massive child maintenance bill and a rapid staff turnover. Jean-Luc Picard would fret and worry whether it broke the Prime Directive to talk to customers before they chose their purchase. Benjamin Sisko might well vanish into another department store for long periods, whereas Jonathon Archer would find ways to achieve sales in the face of Head Office interference.

It seems we really are stuck with Voyager Stores Ltd. Stuck far from home in the depths of the Stockroom Quadrant, our isolated team of idiots explore the uncharted mess left by the afternoon shift as they struggle to find a way home...

Todays Episode of Stockroom Street

Baby Face KS continues to defy and flout the rules. Yesterday he got away with no job searching whatsoever (on the grounds he hadn't turned up for five weeks and needed to fill in all his timesheets - and he still managed to con them into thinking he was only missing four days attendence!). Today he got away with an extra twenty minutes on his lunchbreak. Now, really, these things are sacred to an englishman. Things are not all going his own way. He's broken up with his new girlfriend and is currently footloose and fancy free - when he drag himself from the nearest sandwich bar that is.

More Not Working Properly

Continuing from my previous blog entry I came across an advert in a performing arts newspaper left in the rest area at work. Remember those 'Come and have a holiday in California' ads where lots of celebrities pretend to be ordinary people and Arnold Schwarzenegger asks us "When can you kom?"

You do? Oh brill, because they're making another. I have to conclude the last television advert hasn't prodiuced the desired results, thus the advertising company is now recruiting complete unknowns in Britain to film it. No no no, people, you've got it all wrong. We Brits don't care about famous, fun, or beautifiul people. We just want sun, sand, sea, breasts, booze, and loud music, in no particular order. Good grief, the Spanish sussed that out decades ago.