A few times now I've mentioned the obstacles caused by old people as they struggle to manoever around the enviroment. Of course I agree that one day it'll be me doing none too well and obstructing young whippersnappers going about their urgent business, but hey, that's life. In the meantime I'd like to record a few encounters of the aged kind.

The first clue that pensioners weren't just obstacles came when I popped across the road during my lunchbreak. I use another department store as a short cut to the shopping mall, and along the m ain aisle is a female dummy sat on a chair in the latest fashions. On this particular day, an old woman shuffled up to her and said "Are you tired, dear?"

The second clue came today, as again I popped across the road. An old couple were out in the morning sunshine and the man said to his wife "What you need on a sunny day like this is a beautiful woman". Oh? Sounds like the voice of experience. Thanks for the tip mate.

More From Stockroom Street

The banter was flying this Wacky Wednesday. I have discovered a terrible secret, one so dangerous that lives may be lost if mentioned in public. Of course I can't tell you for fear the security services might be listening, but let me give you a clue...

KS might be dating a girl from the shop floor, but he was already dating another one. Gasp! Don't worry, Miss G, your secret is safe with me. And I won't tell anyone you like bald men.

Revenge of the Bully

It seems the anti-bullying helpline that employees of our Prime Minister had called regarding his overly pushy manner has been suspended. Need I say more?

UFO Enquiry of the Week

With the latest release of offical files into UFO sightings is one curious one dating back to 1952, when the Prime Minister of the day, our very own Winston Churchill demanded to know ""What does all this stuff about flying saucers amount to? What can it mean? What is the truth? Let me have a report at your convenience".

We were going to fight them on the Hollywood sound stages. We will never surrender. Probably why then that all UFO incidents originate in America. Can't imagine anything worse than an abductee demanding a tea break.