Roughly every two or three days we get warnings on television about heavy snow. The familiar amber triangle displayed on our screens is getting a little boring, especially when nothing happens. Take today for instance. Despite "The end is nigh" every half hour on the news channel, I've witnessed nothing but fair weather. Lovely day out there. Birds are singing, children are playing, the boss is smiling, and I didn't have to wait for a library computer. What could be better? Apart from millions in the bank account and a Ferrari on the drive?

Todays Big problem

No, not anything connected with work, but my attempt to pop down to the supermarket at lunchtime. It was an all out offensive by massed ranks of old people to get in the way. No matter which way I turned, no matter which aisle I chose, no matter which checkout I saw as shorter, those pesky old people sniggered and blocked my path.

Even better, one old person at the library just now has gotten into trouble on her mobility buggy. This one is proving somewhat immobile, stuck in a corner between bookshelves. Why doesn't she reverse and come out the other side? Plenty of room. But no, the old woman decided that negotiating this corner was essential. Bump. Reverse. Forward. Bump. Reverse. Forward. Bump.

Funnily enough that's the sort of day I had at work. What a strange coincidence.

Age Is No Barrier

J, my temporary team leader, is a young wiry chap who engages in a strange pastime called parkour, a fun exercise activity in which people find the most difficult method of crossing town. Nothing is too difficult. They leap up stairs, leap across gaps, leap down from tall heights, and generally get all the thriill of escaping from the Police without actually committing a crime.

Naturally I look a bit confused about it because I'm too old to do it. If I tried to hurdle every obstacle they way they do, I would end up face down on the pavement very publicly and very red faced. I did mention that to J, who shrugged and said "I don't know how old you are, but I've exercised with guys aged sixty or so".

Really? There are old people who are fit, lean, agile, and still capable of driving mobility buggies without getting out of breath? If only I would spend my old age in such good condition. The irony is if I tried to go down that route I'd probably die a little sooner.

Ninja of the Week

This prestigious award goes to KS, who not only turned up for work this morning, but remained completely invisible throughout the day. He is beyond Black Belt. A true master of the Cardboard Arts. I sit cross legged in his presence and listen respectfully to his banter, for KS is wise in the ways of gossip...