The Big Stocktake is due in a couple of days, the managers are nervous, and the weekend shift has predictably left chaos in their wake. No pressure then.

My paltry duty today was to bring some kind of order to the rows of cardboard boxes behind the stairs, the most chaotic region of all, and so off I went, wading through collapsing piles of boxes, waste polythene, and discarded piles of clothes. This is life on the sharp end of Stockrooming. It's a strange experience working in a singularity, where the normal physical laws of the universe don't apply. Here, in this macro-quantum zone, boxes mysteriously change shape, pens roll away into nothingness, and packing tape proves to be an evil intelligent entity bent on your utter frustration.

There's also a tendency, being on your own for several hours, to begin talking out loud. So often did I make a commentary on my obervations and accidents (and no shortage of whinges) that J announced that Caldrail FM was on the air.

The Phone Rings

Once in a while we get an internal phone call from the shop floor. I answered a call once, being the only individual still working, and proving beyond doubt that I'm too old to understand such telecommunication technology. Oh well, I tried.... So the next time it rang I ignored it. I had to in any case, because I was trapped behind an avalanche of clothing, but KS didn't stir from his comfortable spot in the next row.

A young lady, somewhat irate at our lack of enthusiasm for communication, rushed down the main aisle yelling "Don't you people ever answer the phone?"

To be honest, no, we don't. We also have a habit of leaving the toilet seat up too. And other male-related issues.

Mister Jones To The Ground Floor Please

You will never know how regularly that message gets heard over the tannoy. You'd think the poor man would have gotten there by now. Either that of he can't get a lunch break without problems breaking out on the shop floor. Then there's always a request for a cleaner to go to the tills. What is going on down there?

Weather Report of the Week

Yes, they got it wrong again. We saw some snow today. Ooh look, there goes some now.... No, over there... Too late, you missed it...