It might not suprise anyone but the snow showers never happened. Such is British weather. It was however very cold and I hear that we've been through one of the coldest winters of living memory, the average temperatures worse than the bitter and elongated winters of 1947/48 and 1961/62. Thankfully we didn't get that much snow. All I got was the sniffles.

It was however raining this morning. Not heavily, just a sort drizzly dampness that makes the pedestrianised street somewhat slippery, even without blizzards to worry about. As usual, J was on guard at the side door, and it was back to work, though today he asked if I could do a different job. It turns out that the weekend crowd were a bit busy, so instead of being careful with excess stock they simply bundled everything together and stuffed the shelves where-ever they could find space, and it was my job to wave a magic wand and put it all right.

With our major stocktake next week, the prospect of another chaotic weekend isn't something I'm looking forward to.

Co-Workers Or Conspiracy?

I like Miss L. She's one of those slightly tomboyish gothic girls, quite pretty with an 'interesting' hairstyle, and characterful, if a little skittish. It so happens the racks I was working on were her responsibility and during the course of the day she introduced herself (she'd been a little shy of this grey-haired looney lurking about the place) whilst she pulled tons of stock off the top shelf in an attempt to find an article of the right size. Then she vanished into thin air, leaving a mammoth pile of discarded stock on top of my piles of discarded stock, only bigger.

Hang on a minute. Is she coming back or has she left me twice as much to do?

It turns out she meant to come back and clear it up. Good lass. But being gothic and characterful, she hadn't quite decided when that would happen. Not that it mattered. The girls on the shop floor brought all their excess stock up to me during the course of the day, amounting to a full parcel trolly load of socks. Various styles and sizes. In no particular order. Oh I see.... It's my job to sort those out as well is it? Groan.

Virus of the Week

This prestigious award usually goes to a 'Bad Cold', or Influenza, since the more exotic diseases only ever affect people on news reports. But following a glance at a science magazine, it turns out that this weeks award goes to us, Homo Sapiens. Viruses are usually viewed as nothing more than tiny invisible bugs that cause coughs, sneezes, and telephone calls to the boss. But no, that's not correct. It turns out that viruses are in fact parasitic lifeforms and that diseases caused by them are the result of these relationships between us and our microscopic residents not been properly sorted out. In many cases they have been, and scientists have realised that at least 34% of our DNA structure is in fact viroid, not mammalian.

Stunning. It also has some interesting possibilities, because what I noticed the magazine article didn't pick up on is the influence of viral DNA. Are we evolved simply because of Darwinian progression, or are there (as I've long suspected) quantum leaps in evolution by some natural mechanism? Is that mechanism none other than the plethora of viruses floating around between us?

It's all speculation of course, but the discovery that our biological structure is the result of parastic influence almost as much as sex is very odd (and very disappointing). Hey babe, I'm suffering from flu. How 'bout we go back to my place for a cup of Lemsip?

Even more worrying is the realisation that I'm a disease. Not too infectious though. Knew you'd be relieved about that.