Last night, armed with a few quid in my pocket saved up for enjoying my festive season, I wandered down to the bottom of the hill to a chinese takeaway. Not a simple fish and chip shop like the one over the back of the hill, but a proper chinese meal purveyor.

I don't go there very often, prices being what they are, but they do a 'Mega Meal Deal' which is reasonable value for money. Basically you get a choice of three dishes plus free rice or noodles, and some spring rolls on the side. Not bad.

On this occaision the usual chinese crowd weren't around. Instead, a sultry blonde woman smiled at me from behind the counter, or at least she did in between smiling when people phoned orders in. She had that sort of slavic accent and a deepish voice which quite frankly reduces me to jelly. Anyway, when I 'd finished quivering, being in a conversational mood, I mentioned her accent and voiced my suspicion about her eastern european origin.

"Oh no," She said, almost blushing, "I am not from eastern europe."

Oh really? Where are you from then?

"Brazil."

Brazil? Brazil? What on earth are you doing in rainy old Swindon (and it was raining too).

"I don't know" She chuckled.

You don't know? What? You just woke up one morning and thought 'Ohmigosh, I'm in Swindon? (in Brazilian)'. Wow. Guess you're not in Rio De Kansas any more.

Like Minded People

On my way to the internet cafe where I'm writing this I encountered a couple of lads loudly minding their own business. One commented to the other about how often he came to Swindon. As part of his answer he said "I like Swindon."

What? You like Swindon?

"Well it's better than Marlborough. That's a small town. Nothing happens there."

My answer is that things happen because people make them happen. I'm not sure, but I think he struggled with that concept.

Annoying Person of the Week

Just lately there's a bloke who sits down at the next computer to me. It makes absolutely no difference which computer I choose, nor when I sit down to access the internet. There he is. He coughs, splutters, hums merry ditties, huffs and puffs, groans and moans, and sighs in continuous streams of irritating background noise.

There he goes again.