English weather is incredible. It's launched more conversations than the activities of fecund neighbours, and that really is saying something. Right now I'm sat staring out the window as the weather drifts by. One moment it's a sky of blue, then clumps of white cloud, then great cloaks of dark sombre grey, and I can see rainfall over West Swindon, all with the sun shining from the other direction. You know, it's occured to me the great thrill about our weather is the gambling element. Will I get home okay, or will I get soaked, or will I get swept away by autumnal hurricanes? You just never know.

On the other hand, looking at the blanket of cloud on the horizon, I think I do.

The Pope Needs You!

If you've been watching the news lately you'll probably know that the Roman Catholic church has offered to recruit disaffected Anglican priests and give them dispensation for their different practises. A part of me says this is hugely cynical and smacking of hypocrisy, given the track record of heresy trials in the past, but then again, the Catholic church is the result of political necessity rather than unified worship.

So why then is the Pope recruitng new priests in England? Is he going to challenge Gordon Brown in the next election? Vote Pope. Taking Britain into the Next Life.

Uh Oh...

The sun ain't shinin' no more. Thats a substantial rainshower out the window. You know the sort? Misty grey from horizon to horizon?

Policies of the Week

All is revealed. Jack Straw and Tony Blair thought up a plan to let even more immigrants into the country to create multi cultural England and didn't tell anyone. As if England wasn't overpopulated already. Perhaps it might be worth suggesting that Tony Blair and his accomplices emmigrate from England to make room for these new settlers?

Unfortunately, now I've said that, I sound like a member of Nick Griffins British National Party, the fun face of British extremism. Having wowwed the crowd at a recent television panel show and complained to the BBC for giving him public exposure and a chance to speak his mind, I too laughed in disbelief at the shallow excuses he made for his extremist views, and indeed, neo-nazi background. Tell yer what, Tone, I'll let you stay in England if you kick Griffin off his podium. How's that for a deal?

I suspect though nothing will happen. Tony Blair is a recent recruit to Roman Catholicism and therefore now works for the Pope. Vote Labour. Save Your Souls. You'll have nothing else left. Right, now I've poured water on our current governments chances of obtaining my vote....

Yep, It's Raining...

The window has a hosepipe trained on it. Just thought you'd like to know in case you were planning to settle in England anytime soon.