Monday morning... Usually the Monday Blues are associated with dragging yourself out of bed to go to work, but since I'm unemployed, you'd think that wouldn't apply to me. Oh but it does. For today is my Signing On Day, my fortnightly ritual aimed at convincing the authorities that I've something toward getting a job thus entitling me to receive my meagre handout from the government. Typically for a Monday the good weather has vanished with the weekend. It's damp and grey out there. What a miserable day. Oh well, never mind, time to haul my begging bowl down the road.

Having gotten out of bed and made it to the office on time, the lady behind the desk asked me which job I was interested in, showing me a list of potential vacancies on her swivelling monitor screen. There were two jobs on offer. The first was in another town. To be honest, a four hour walk to walk every morning isn't really what I had in mind as a rewarding career opportunity.

So.... Lets think about this.... Which job offer should I consider? How about the other one? It was one of those office jobs you see advertised that ask for people with extensive in some obscure part of Microsoft Office. No doubt they're looking for people with that mature, professional outlook you see in television adverts, and want to exclude non-droids like me.

"Do you have that experience?" The lady behind the desk asked me.

Err... No.... But what the hey, a vacancy is a job I haven't done yet. At least I think that was the saying... Yep, I'll apply for that.

"What's the point of applying?" She asked, somewhat confused by my strange prediliction for not making excuses for not finding work, "You don't have the experience they're asking for. There's no point applying for a job you're not qualified for."

Well you see, it doesn't matter. If by some miracle I get the job, brilliant. If not, I include a letter and CV asking them if they do have a job I'm qualified for. She then started printing off bits of paper. We chatted about 'long term job search goals' and so forth before she asked me if I wanted to apply for that job she'd pointed out. I sort of shrugged. Oh go on then.

"I thought you wanted to apply for that job?" She asked as if emotionally hurt by my lack of enthusiasm.

Well you've put me off now!

Gripe of the Week

The disappointing news for British foreign policy is that the war in Afghanistan might take another forty years to win, according to one senior officer. I have a similar problem with my plumbing.

Tradesmen are a different species. They have their own language, their own rules and regulations, and have absolutely no sense of time whatsoever. You might have guessed why by now.

I had a text message on my mobile this morning, sent very early this morning, from a tradesman who wants to get into my home to check for water leaks again. I phoned him back and the cheerful character arranged to be let in this afternoon. I'm still waitining... ...No I'm not. I've given up. It's evening now and so I'll pop down to the library to finish off my daily doings before they close for the night. It's only a five minute walk there, up the stairs, check for a free computer and log on. A quick cracking of the knuckles, and lets begin typing....

Oh hang on, somebody's ringing my phone...