Sooner or later they infiltrate your home. No matter how secure you believe your privacy to be, they find ways to intrude upon your premises. Even when you discover their presence, there's a good chance they will find a way to escape you, and worse still, no matter how hard you try to push them out, they will find a way back against all adversary.

Yes, the spider is at large in my home. I know he's up there, I've seen him, scurrying across the no-mans land of the carpet in a mad dash to find cover under the furniture. The hunt is on. Already I've scoured the shops for catchers and bug sprays, hardware vital in the fight for territory. Sooner or later, spider, you will face the wrath of the homeowner....

Species of the Week

Everyone knows that spiders are carnivores. Sort of. They don't actually 'eat' their prey, just inject enzymes into it and suck out the nourishing goo. They can't handle solid food. There is however a vegetarian species of spider, first observed last year.

So later today I'll be checking out the spider in my home. Is it wearing a woolly hat and waving a Greenpeace pamphlet? It will avail you nothing spider...