My last day at the Programme Centre today. I don't think they succeeded turning me into James Bond, but at least I learned a few things about getting a job. Of course it isn't just me. Most of the job seekers there are struggling to find work - although apparently one was struggling with Minesweeper, one of the games that comes with Microsoft Windows. Ahem.

By chance I got talking to the lady on the PC next to mine. It was quickly apparent she was a little emotional, and inevitably the sorry tale of her woes emerged. That's okay, I was happy to listen and she needed to talk. Her neighbour has built a house extension on her land, wrecked her garage, or perhaps more accurately the builders he hired had done so, though clearly it was too much trouble for him to sort it out without recourse to expensive legal action. Her favourite tree, imported from Spain, had large branches snapped off as the builders sought roon to erect scaffolding. Her tarpaulin was 'borrowed' for their use. Her sunshade for a garden table had proven to be a handy weather cover for a drainage hole dug by them.

I genuinely do feel sorry for her plight. Guess what? She has that Rudyard Kipling poem tacked up on her toilet door.

Out And About In Wiltshire Yesterday

I was in the mood for a hike yesterday. Feeling a bit fed up with the modern world and its materialistic dependencies I pulled my rucksack out, stuffed a load of stuff inside it, and headed for the hills. It was cloudy but quite warm and humid - boy was I sweating! On the way home I passed along the back of the local golf course, and as I turned the corner of a wooded hedgerow dozens of rabbits fled for cover. They're very alert, those wild bunnies, always keen to avoid human company.

Except one, who sat on the muddy path (it's been raining a lot lately) and grazed entirely unconcerned. How odd.... Either the rabbit is blissfully unaware of my presence, or it's a super-bunny waiting to rip me to shreds like Monty Pythons Welsh monster. I strode up to within a couple of feet of it, and still it didn't stir. A bemused lady on a bike rode past, greeted me with a polite good afternoon (who is she? Never seen her before. Hi babe) and the rabbit chewed on.

Sadly the poor animal was blind. Thing is though, humans are smelly animals at the best of times and there was I, sweating like a pig, standing a couple of feet upwind of it. Eventually it realised there might be something nearby (I was sweating you know) and it ambled away to the undergrowth. Well, good luck to you rabbit.

Job Vacancy of the Week

SAS Risk Analysist required....

Huh? After my eyeballs returned to their sockets I thought, yeah, I could do that. Years of computer game experience should prove useful there eh? Yep, shoot him. No, no the other one, that's... was.... a hostage. Oh well. On the job training I suppose. But my illusions were sadly dashed as it emerged it had nothing to do with tense security situations at all, nor were the Special Air Service remotely involved. It was just another highly paid job in a stuffy office that involves justifying your payroll to the other stuffy individuals competing with you to prevent redundancy. Sigh... Looks like I'm going to have to apply anyway...