One of the changes in lifestyle enforced by the lack of motor transport has been my shopping habits. Rather than load up a car boot with my weekly needs I must now carry stuff home manually, so I shop lightly and more often. I pop in for odds and ends almost every day now. yesterday it was to restock my supply of soft drinks, which I can obtain at a bargain price, plus the advantage of getting an arms, shoulder, and legs work out as I climb the hill laden with plastic bottles filled with liquified sugar.

The level of service has declined a little. The problem isn't really the staff who cheerily assist even the worst whingers known to mankind. It's the issue of plastic bags. The government, rightly or wrongly, has decided we must use less, and does all sorts of things to encourage us to bring our own bags. Do they really think I'm going to go about my business with two orange Sainsbury's plastic bags stuffed into my pocket? Unfortunately, the need to use less of them means that the supermarket checkout assistants never fill your bags for you. They just ask if you're using you're own and if not, throw a few at you to get on with.

The lady at the checkout till made her requisite greeting and said "You need two bags with those don't you?"

I was stunned. Yes, that's right. I do. You're getting good at this.

"Oh" She replied with a gracious smile, "I've seen you packing those bottles before. Always two to a bag."

Well done. If only her colleagues were as observant. Especially since I've been shopping there for six years now.

Greeting of the Evening

With my window open to the street below I hear all the people walking past on their way from pub to club to shrub. Usually it's a bunch of lads in the midst of a singing contest, but last night a young lady shouted hello. How very sweet of her. I should mention that her parents really ought to have told her that you shouldn't talk to strangers, but I guess being known to everyone is the price you pay for being officially famous.

Still, at least she was polite and didn't mock or denounce my character. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. Well what else did you expect me to give her? Babies? Am I supposed to rush downstairs and chase her along the street declaring undying love? I perform music for the general public you know. I leave the demonstrations of reproductive behaviour to my neighbours...

Today We Look Through... The Square Window

My neighbours across the road aren't what you'd call shy. They like to leave the curtains open when engaged in certain adult activities more usually performed in private. I caught a glimpse of their sex lives last night when I opened the window to let some fresh air in. I'm sure they enjoy a rich and fulfilling intimate relationship, but it looked dreadfully dull from my vantage point.

Well its no good complaining. If you don't want me to see, close the effing curtains you wally.