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The Awful German Language

Viggen

Entry posted by Viggen

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I recently stumbled over Mark Twains Appendix D from Twain's 1880 book A Tramp Abroad called The Awful German Language

 

...being a native german speaker, i found it fascinating how Mark Twain "manages" to learn the german language and how he wrote with his usual wit about it...

 

Now observe the Adjective. Here was a case where simplicity would have been an advantage; therefore, for no other reason, the inventor of this language complicated it all he could. When we wish to speak of our "good friend or friends," in our enlightened tongue, we stick to the one form and have no trouble or hard feeling about it; but with the German tongue it is different. When a German gets his hands on an adjective, he declines it, and keeps on declining it until the common sense is all declined out of it. It is as bad as Latin. He says, for instance:

 

  • SINGULAR
    • Nominative -- Mein guter Freund, my good friend.
    • Genitives -- Meines guten Freundes, of my good friend.
    • Dative -- Meinem guten Freund, to my good friend.
    • Accusative -- Meinen guten Freund, my good friend.

    [*]PLURAL

    • N. -- Meine guten Freunde, my good friends.
    • G. -- Meiner guten Freunde, of my good friends.
    • D. -- Meinen guten Freunden, to my good friends.
    • A. -- Meine guten Freunde, my good friends.

Now let the candidate for the asylum try to memorize those variations, and see how soon he will be elected. One might better go without friends in Germany than take all this trouble about them...

 

My philological studies have satisfied me that a gifted person ought to learn English (barring spelling and pronouncing) in thirty hours, French in thirty days, and German in thirty years. It seems manifest, then, that the latter tongue ought to be trimmed down and repaired. If it is to remain as it is, it ought to be gently and reverently set aside among the dead languages, for only the dead have time to learn it. ;)

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Aurelia

I must admit I agree with Mark Twain on this one. Not that I think German should become a dead language like Latin but boy it could use a little "simplification". ;)

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Ingsoc

Latin has the same declination forms, I'm assuming it was the source for the ones use by the Germans.

 

However I'm curious about something, several days ago I spoke to a friend who speak German and he claim that the Austrian dialect of German is so distinct from the regular language that is spoken in Germany that when Austrians are on the German TV it's put subtitles so the German audience could understand them. he also mention some reform that to simplified German that was limited to the borders of the German Republic. considering all this, how much Austrian German is still the "regular" German that is spoken across the border?

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Viggen

...yes you see sometimes subtitles when someone with a strong austrian dialect speaks on german TV, the same goes for the swiss german, which is even more distinct then the austrian dialect.

 

Yes there were several attempts to simplify things but it was more about spelling then grammar. The thing is there is no official High German Standard, we use a different dictionary as our official one then the germans, as we have many words that come from eastern europe (Austrian Hungarian Monarchy), that germans dont use...

 

here is a nice summary

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Austrian_German

 

Austrian German is the only variety of a pluricentric language recognised under international law / EU primary law.

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