Indiana Caldrail: Raiders of the Lost Office
Entry posted by caldrail
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The Programme Centre has moved. They were inhabiting a pokey little place in that peculiar brick complex in the corner by the pub. You'd think that was very convenient, except the pub in question is a real 'sawdust on the floor and spit your broken teeth in the bucket please' kind of place.
I was in there a few years back, quietly minding my own business, nursing a pint like several others. In came a bunch of lads, making a lot of noise, bouncinng off the walls. To be honest I didn't pay much attention but suddenly it dawned on me the pub had gone quiet. I looked over my shoulder to see one of them staring at me balefully with a bar stool raised above his head. Oh great. I came in here to get smashed out of my head, but this wasn't what I had in mind. What could I do? I stared him straight back in the eye. He didn't move. Eventually I snorted and went back to contemplating my pint. Never a dull moment in there.
Then there was the time some old guy accosted me in there and told me he had a treasure map that showed the location of the Tomb of the Ancestor. Tomb of the Ancestress. Oh make your mind up... At the time I thought he either drunk or trying it on.
Now it was time to find the Lost Programme Centre. 'X' marked the spot on the ragged photocopied map that had come into my possession. Right then. Droopy slouch hat, whip on my belt, and a can of snake repellent in my pocket. Off I go.
Hidden behind a crevice between the shops along the main road, I found the Programme Centre, right where the old map said it would be. Overjoyed by my success at negotiating the difficulties of locating our new programme centre, I was overconfident and forgot that doors are not always the simple devices they seem to be. So when the session finished I stood there scratching my head over a stubbornly locked door. All was not lost. Action-archaeology hollywood blockbusters always have a gutsy babe to save the day, and right on cue a nice young lady from upstairs rescued me and pointed out where the secret door-opening thingy was. Chivalry is not yet dead.
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Amongst the list of vacancies I dug out of the internet yesterday was a real gem. Land management in Zimbabwe. Salary negotiable. You bet it is mate.
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