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Dropping Bombs


caldrail

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In some ways I'm lucky. I'm just old enough to remember seeing steam locomotives working mainline services on British Rail. Steam engines have this animistic quality which endures despite the nerdy image of those who like them. As for me, I've always had a soft spot for this powerful works of art that belch smoke and hiss and chuff... Well, you know what I mean. The distant sounds of whistles still draw my attention. I remember this forgotten world. All those sounds behind rows of trees, the exquisite paintings in books illustrating locomotives from around the world, or the little Hornby trainset racing around a circle of track on the living room carpet.

 

It's often said that every small boy wanted to be an engine driver. Actually I didn't - I wanted to join International Rescue, launch Fireball XL5 off it's ramp, or plunge to the rescue of Seaville. Oh all right... I admit it... I wanted to be Batman too. Adam West has a lot to answer for.

 

A few days ago I watched a documentary about the railways of Britain during World War Two. That opened my eyes. I once stood on the footplate of a small restored steam locomotive in New Zealand and admired the hard teamwork of the crew as they ran up and down the line. Imagining that but with bombs dropping everywhere is something else.

 

As a small boy, dropping bombs was something on the boxlid of an Airfix kit. I simply had no idea of the real effect a high explosive bomb could do. Probably just as well. The Russians were pointing something even more powerful at my home town during my childhood years.

 

Confrontation of the Week

Last night I opened the window at the back of the house and looked out over Swindon. There was a faint residual warmth from the day, but a cold breeze. Along the alleyway the local cat was on patrol, making sure his territory was still safe from other cats. He spotted movement, a bird, about twenty feet away and landing on the branches of a tree growing out of the disused college grounds. The cat immediately followed the bird, looking up intently, patiently waiting for the bird to make a mistake and stop low enough for that fast sprint to a prize to please his owner.

 

So intent was he that he failed to spot the ginger cat waiting in the car park. The tension mounted as the cat jerked to a standstill in suprise. Both cats watched each other from a dangerously close distance, neither keen to give way. For twelve minutes these cats sat there warily until a man walking his dog upset the equilibrium. Both cats wandered away looking behind them.

 

Mark my words - this ain't over yet. The War of the Alleyway has begun.

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Cats Rule !

 

Don't EVER mess with a cat. You WILL regret it.

Cats have memories nine times better than elephants. They are nine times as vicious as hippo's, they are nine times as smart as humans and they have nine lifes.

Cats never forget and cats never forgive. They will get even if you mess with them.

 

We think we're so smart ? Yeah ? Do we have a slave race to take care of our every need without us ever doing anything in return ? Do we have a slave race that makes our meals for us, makes sure we have a warm and comfortable nest to sleep in when we get tired of having naps in the sun or chasing butterflies to drive away the boredom ? Whom we can completely ignore when we can't be bothered and who will give us a cuddle when we feel like that ? Whose face we can scratch open in return for their kindness and who wouldn't even mind ? Suckers !

 

And, friends, whatever you do, never, ever do this.

 

JUST SAY NO

kittenhuffing

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Do we have such a slave race? Actually, yes we do, but the risk of alienating my fan base prevents me from being outrageously sexist (Before anyone slaps me on the cheek, my tongue is firmly in it aleady - Why do I get the impression I'm digging myself into a pit here?)

 

As it happens, I agree, cats are very quick to manipulate and exploit mankind.

 

We used to get a cat hanging around our home many years ago. It was incredibly cute the way it rubbed itself up your leg and inevitably, my parents began feeding it, until we discovered it was doing exactly the same thing for every house in the street. That was a well fed cat. Sorry, kitten, doting privileges revoked. Serves you right.

 

The next cat to try that got shown off the premises with a hosepipe. Nice try, but no cigar.

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Do we have such a slave race? Actually, yes we do, but the risk of alienating my fan base prevents me from being outrageously sexist (Before anyone slaps me on the cheek, my tongue is firmly in it aleady - Why do I get the impression I'm digging myself into a pit here?)

 

As it happens, I agree, cats are very quick to manipulate and exploit mankind.

 

We used to get a cat hanging around our home many years ago. It was incredibly cute the way it rubbed itself up your leg and inevitably, my parents began feeding it, until we discovered it was doing exactly the same thing for every house in the street. That was a well fed cat. Sorry, kitten, doting privileges revoked. Serves you right.

 

The next cat to try that got shown off the premises with a hosepipe. Nice try, but no cigar.

 

Yes, I knew a cat once, he had made the inside of a whole street block his territory. He went from backdoor to backdoor over the garden walls. Having at least twelve meals a day getting fatter and fatter and generally making a nuisance of himself, which everybody thought was SO cute ! Exploitative bastard.

 

I live in a suburban neigbourhood with lots of small front gardens and very little traffic. A lot of people have cats around here and from the windows of my flat which is on a corner, I have an excellent view. It is endlessly fascinating to see cat politics in action. The staring matches, the territory marking and guarding, the courting. They say that cats are solitary, but they are not of course, they are just individualistic. And the characters. The nosey ones who always get into trouble and the conservative ones who seldom venture very far. Those that are immediately everybody's best friend and those that will never ever acknowledge your existence.

Yes, cats are fun.

 

PS Best to disregard that first part of you comment, I guess. We don't want you to get into more trouble than you are already.

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Cats might be fun, but ultimately they're fair weather friends. Dogs are social creatures that treat their owning family as their 'pack' - it comes very naturally to them. Cats though are not pack animals, though their behaviour varies according to circumstance. Cats are individualistic because they tend to be reared as such. Those born as part of large groups (such as abandoned farmyards and old ladies homes) have a much more social outlook.

 

I suspect dogs adapt too, but they much prefer to be part of a pack.

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