Bank Holiday Blues
Entry posted by caldrail
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Bank Holiday Weekends are a British institution that foreigners might find hard to understand. The name is misleading. All it amounts to is an extra day off work. However, like some kind of mass-lunacy, there's two pyschopathic obsessions that afflict the British at these times.
The first is a strange urge that overcomes the weak-willed who gather their unsuspecting families and drive off to a holiday destination. Most don't get there. Braving the rain that inevitably pours cold water on their plans, they end up parking their cars for several hours on a motorway listening to their kids asking "Are we there yet?"
The second kind of urge is that need to repair and improve the nest. Sometimes I wonder if DIY megastores are secretly hypnotising us into these attempts to recreate glossy magazine photo's of perfect homes. On the saturday morning I spotted one eager man and his clearly unimpressed missus dragging a huge generator out of the hardware store across the street. Boy oh boy, is she in for a fun filled weekend.
The single blessing of my pedestrian status is, I suppose, that I'm immune to the lemming like need to join the traffic jams I shall enjoy the good weather. Also, my single status means I don't get nagged to tile the bathroom or invent a new plumbing system. So, I'll just sit here, enjoying the weekend in my usual quiet way, and....
Uh-oh. The draw on my computer desk is getting sticky. Really ought to fix that. Let's have a look... Brilliant. The back end has fallen off. Aha! All it needs is a little bit of glue. I've got some somewhere.... Here in my dusty toolbox... There it is! Ok. Carefully does it.... Apply the glue... The space is very restricted and it isn't easy to put it in place... There! Done it!
Uh-oh. My pen's run out. I'll just look in the draw and get anopther... Whoops, there goes the back of the draw, down in the corner where I can't get it. Has that glue not set yet? Where's the gaffa tape?
No, no, it'll work, trust me... Ah, maybe not. Perhaps if I move this over there and fix this here, and.... Those of a nervous disposition, look away now, as I attempt a repair that any sane person on a normal working day could mend in thirty seconds...
of the Week
In Norway a man has been arrested for having sex with his girlfriend whilst speeding on a motorway. Maybe he should have bought an interesting car?
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