Jump to content
UNRV Ancient Roman Empire Forums
  • entries
    1,146
  • comments
    1,165
  • views
    264,860

Officially Sheffield

caldrail

Entry posted by caldrail

320 views

 Share

Women are such fickle creatures. In Newcastle, the opinion of one young lady who passed me by was to say "Ooh not him, he's fat" Now that I'm officially fat, I can no longer attract women in Newcastle. Sigh. Scratch Northumberland off my list.

 

Yesterday afternoon I took a stroll down that road where all the posh houses are, the one that leads to Coate Water. A group of ladies jogging in their lunchtime began discussing my finer points. as they approached in the opposite direction. That conversation didn't last long, and one lady with little restraint reckoned I was good all the way until my neck. I'm also a nutter apparently. Sorry, do I know you? Obviously now I'm officially ugly (and officially insane). Sigh. Scratch Swindon off my list too.

 

Still, lets not be pessimistic. Since the two local opinions are almost diametrically opposed, I've calculated that the woman most likely to think I'm acceptably ordinary lives in Sheffield. Sorry Sheffield. You're officially fat, ugly, and not right in the head. Just one consolation - Swindon wants to be just like you. Trust me, it's well on the way.

 

Weather Forecasts of the Week

Weather reports are so amazing. In our modern high tech wolrld, we have satellites recording images of whats going on in the world's climate. Computers that distill that information and make scientific predictions about what weather to expect tomorrow. Not only that, we have weather forecasters that take those results, screw them up, throw them over their shoulders, and completely blow it on national tv.

 

It happened this week. The weekend shift on the weather report predicted a dire Monday and Tuesday. Grim wet weather set to dampen British spirits. Oh? So far Monday and Tuesday turned out to be gloriously sunny. Not that warm perhaps, but thats down to the time of year (or perhaps the frosty young woman who thinks I'm ugly).

 

 Share

3 Comments

Recommended Comments

Aurelia

C'mon, not all women are fickle. I think you have just been quite unfortunate to cross paths with some really rude specimens recently. Looking on the bright side, you seem to be popular with the ladies around here - I see mostly girls replying to your posts. :P

Link to comment
caldrail

What did those women look like? Well... like a bunch of women out jogging really. I suspect one or two of them enjoy their own reflection, but actually there wasn't one that caught my eye. Is that why she called me a nutter?

 

Actually that doesn't bother me. The world needs nutters. How else could she possibly justify being superior if it wasn't for nutters like me? Silly woman ought to thank me. I've given her life meaning.

 

I also think I've become a bit more aware of these snide opinions. There was a time I would have blasted past in a red sportscar and not even noticed her. But I daresay she would have said a few words about that too :P

Link to comment
×
×
  • Create New...