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A Little Bit More Famous Still...


caldrail

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Yesterday I ran out of space on my job search card so it's down to the job center to ask for another. As expected there was a mass of bemused dole claimants milling around while harassed security guards do their best to sound important. Ok, here we go...

 

I brush past the lines of ex-car manufacturers and single mothers to confront a guard. Can I have one of these please?

 

"Wots that then?"

 

Its a job search record. I need a new one.

 

"Why do you need a new one?"

 

Ok. take a close look at exhibit A. One secondhand job search booklet, all filled in... you see? I ran out of space. Now I need a new one.

 

"Uhhhh... Right.... Wait there mate."

 

He strolled off to find out from someone else what I was talking about. He returned fully informed, smiles all round, confident that his efficient security guard image was still secure.

 

On the way out I was stopped by some guy with a notepad. My celebrity instincts immediately gave me that tingly feeling. He introduced himself as a journalist from the local rag, and asked would I mind being interviewed?

 

Try to look calm and disinterested Caldrail. Stay cool. It's only a local newspaper...

 

Security Guard of the Week

Definitely goes to the fat guy wandering around the library. If ever a man was unaware of his own insignificance, its him. The reason being he gives anyone who asks him a question a full ten minute lecture on what to do, where to do it, how it should be done, who to do it with.

 

I get the impression he doesn't get out much at nights.

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Well.. I must be honest, the journalist hadn't a clue who I was (philistine!) and simply chose me at random to talk about issues of the growing dole queue.

 

But, interviewed I was, so who knows, perhaps I'll have to change my forum name to Backontherail? Stand by for impact, World, here I come....

 

...Until my next obstacle that is. The world is a big place after all. It does tend to get in the way. I was pleased to note that Simon Cowell, my biggest rival in the celebrity stakes, may well lose a

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Ok, I admit part of me loves the fact that he's so brutally honest. A kindred spirit, if you will. Still, too much of something is never a good thing.

 

(Incidentally, I'm starting to get the same way with Gordon Ramsay, although I still love how he turns these so-called chefs into better versions of themselves. Still, small doses....)

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No, he's not brutally honest, he's just blunt. All businessmen talk out of their rear to a greater or lesser degree - business is a controlled con-market after all.

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