There's an area of land that I know reasonably well. It's farmland behind Coate Water, a nature reserve and an area of natural beauty. Unfortunately it's become contentious because developers have noticed how close it is to the M4 motorway and so good for business. There''s a plan to let a university build there, and of course, no developer in his right mind would build a university five miles out of town in the countryside without a housing estate next door to sell to people who can't afford mortgages now they've lost their jobs.

Hey, at least one of the worst hospitals in Britain is next door, so the locals can inbreed in safety. Best of all, a planning enquiry has hardly begun before we've discovered the sale of the land (worth a stunning