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In Their Own Minds


caldrail

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The big deal in Britain at the moment (apart from our economies disappearing act that is) happens to be the plans for the expansion of Heathrow airport. Now that the airport is operating at 99% capacity they want an extra runway which requires the demolition of two nearby villages and the loss of seven hundred homes and businesses. If they want more landing space, why not use the River Thames? The Americans have shown it can be done.

 

You have to hand it to the pilot of the Airbus 320 that made a smooth arrival on the River Hudson. His skill at the controls certainly saved the lives of the passengers and crew, and in modern airliners with big engines hanging under the wings, such a landing is potentially disastrous. I also feel some sympathy. Whilst I've no doubt the man would simply he was only doing his job, the media circus wants a hero.

 

Amongst the people who shouldn't be called heroes are sportsmen. Scoring goals or points doesn't quite involve life or death risk in a selfless effort to save others. Come to think of it, I guess the politicians supporting the Heathrow are not exactly well-regarded in some circles right now. It's not just the poor people who stand to be turfed out of their homes, but also the green lobby who deeply resent any increase in carbon dioxide.

 

Its hard to empathise with the green lobby. Their movement has all the overtones of religion and lets be honest, although they give their own lives meaning by striving against enviromental issues, they would think nothing of foisting their views on the rest of us. Rather like the government that wants to demolish seven hundred homes without giving anyone a chance to persuade them otherwise. Heroes? Only in their own mind.

 

Religious Intolerance At Home

 

The news item said that a Christian bus driver refuses to drive a vehicle with an aetheist slogan "There's probably no God".

 

Why? Does he normally say three Hail Mary's and close his eyes before flooring the pedal? Personally I don't see his problem. He does believe in God doesn't he? So what difference is a slogan going to make? Does he really believe people are going to take any notice as the bus rumbles past and fills the air with thick black diesel fumes? People discover their own God for all sorts of reasons. Bus slogans aren't one of them.

 

Headline of the Week

Our newspaper ran a story concerning a housing estate in Swindon. Abbey Mead and its drainage ditches are now a dumping ground for supermarket trolleys. Gasp! Surely not! Actually, West Swindon as a whole has been a dump for shopping trolleys for more than twenty years. Maybe I should have mentioned it earlier? Sorry.....

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According to my studies of discarded shopping trollies, based on statistical information gathered over twenty five years, not one shopping trolley mated and bred offspring. Some do flourish in their damp and muddy home however, as weeds and sediment will tend to build up around them thus creating the perfect enviroment for the urban trolley. Trolleys do like ditches though, and I have seen at least one with a thriving population of four trolleys living together in an adonised community.

 

Brings tears to your eyes.

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Wow...I never knew that trollies were so compatible with the urban ditch soil. The communal nature I reckoned, given that they are constantly around their mates in parking lots and in stores. Fascinating study, Prof. Caldrail.

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What you have to understand is that domesticated trolleys you find in supermarket car parks are tended to by trolleyherds, but that sometimes trolley rustlers make off with them and invariably dump them in ditches, and thats despite devices to keep them shackled to their home carpark. Its a growing problem. Numbers suggest trolleys aren't an endangered species but their cruel treatment by some shoppers is ubelievable. I hope that in some small way I have made you aware of the plight of the Lesser Spotted British Trolley.

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Indeed you have. The next time I see a trolley in a ditch, I'll treat it with care, maybe even throw some more dirt around it. I truly suspect that a dirty trolley is a happy trolley.

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