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Secrecy


caldrail

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Hi there. As its the start of the new year, its the time for new year resolutions. Sadly the UN doesn't recognise my little nation state but that won't stop me. Luckily though no-one keeps resolutions for more than a few days which explains why third world dictators get away with flouting them. Most of us are required to pay lip service to these resolutions by our inlaws. Dictators have the unfair advantage that they can shoot theirs at will.

 

So without further ado, my first lip-service to new year resolutions is to announce that its a secret. Since I live in Britain and have declared myself an independent state, I've no doubt that British Intelligence already know what my new years resolution is, which means everybody elses intelligence service know as well. So I might as well tell you all.

 

I hereby resolve to not get bothered by that idiot who rings my doorbell at four in the morning. Who is he? Thats a secret, funnily enough.

 

Defence Secret of the Week

According to secret information recently made public, it seems that Britain in the 1970's was barely able to defend itself against the Soviet threat. Our fighter aircraft had enough ammunition and missiles for a few days conflict. Given we all had four minutes to live once war was declared, I sort of wonder whether investing in more ammo was worth it. Perhaps a free distribution of condoms to the public would have been better value? Safe sex you see.

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"Eeeeeevery sperm is sacred....eeeeevery sperm is great. Iiiiif a sperm is waaaaaaasted, God gets quite iraaate!"

 

Sorry, that's the first thing that popped into my head. I should keep those a secret more often.

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