Survivng Christmas
Entry posted by caldrail
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Survival is so macho. Tell someone you've survived the wilderness and instantly your manliness score doubles. Women become breathless near you. Men become your greatest buddy and hang on your every word. At least I believe they do because the only wilderness I've survived is Swindon, and unfortunately I'm reliably informed that Swindon doesn't do much for your manliness.
The good news is that I survived Christmas. Survival is one of those dark arts you see featured on tv sometimes, with Ray Mears being clever and Bear Gryls being heroic. I notice neither use any of those SAS survival manuals you see in bookstores. I therefore conclude the art of survival is doing something without an instruction manual to find out how. A bit like your first date for instance.
The reason we have to treat Christmas as an exercise of survival is public expectation. We're all expected to be happy. We're all expected to hand out presents. We're all expected to party on down. I suspect most of us have, economic woes or personal inclination notwithstanding. This year I survived by doing as little of these things as possible. I've decided that survival is dull. Lets face it, how much do I not want to invite someone to a Christmas party whose topic of conversation revolves around eating creepy-crawlies? Maybe they'd be better at barbeques? At least they could set the thing alight.
No Sex Please, We're Swindoners
The guy who lives across the street from me has done it again. Literally. I used to think it was a woman who lived there but apparently it's the bloke and he now has a new girlfriend. Gee, must be tough finding women who like having sex in view of the whole street....
Christmas Prezzie of the Week
No, it wasn't the camera. So would the owner of a dark blue Vauxhall Astra who drove past me whilst I was out taking photographs on Christmas morning please note - you were wrong. I was very happy.
(sigh) Ok, you want to see a photograph... Well, here's my xmas pic of the year...
Christmas Day Pic 2008
No Vauxhall Astra owners were harmed in the making of this pic
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