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Same Old Songs


caldrail

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The temperature has dropped alarmingly. It's actually cold getting out of bed, if that wasn't difficult enough on a Saturday morning. I glance out the window and see nothing but dreary english fog.

 

It turns out to be so cold even the internet is frozen. I've been searching all morning for a place to log on, with internet cafe staff frantically trying to stop their customers wandering away. I think thee's a telephone company employee who's going to need stress counselling.

 

Then again, the cold weather is down to the time of year. Its already the Commercial Season, with ads everywhere telling us that if we buy their goods, we too will have a happy smiley Christmas. How? How can you enjoy Christmas with all the Christmas songs played endlessly on the radio?

 

In America, I imagine you're suffering "Walking in a Winter Wonderland". Here in Blighty, its "Merry Christmas" by Slade. It was cute in 1978, but we've heard it, ok?

 

Thens there's good old Bing, brought out of the golden oldie cupboard and dusted off to remind us that placing a bet snow will fall on Christmas Day is not a good idea. Paul McCartney tells us that "We're.. all.. having... a wonderful Christmas time". I'll bet you are. You can afford the prices. Cliff Richard of course gets all his his songs direct from God, which must leave Somin Cowell a little perplexed.

 

What we need are gritty, rough tough no-nonsense Christmas songs. I want to hear Ozzy Osbourne singing "Suicide Sausage Rolls" or "Mr Crosby". How about Judas Priest performing "Living After New Year" or "Breaking The Wind"?

 

Oh yeah. Songs from the heart.

 

Survey of the Week

Customer surveys are such a waste of time. Did we really need to them to do all that research to discover that the French use the largest condoms on average? Mind you, I was relieved to discover that Greece use the smallest. Must be why they import so many british holidaymakers every year.

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