In the course of my search for gainful employment, I've gotten to know the vagaries of various employers. Most, thankfully, are straightforward to deal with, especially those offering enslavement at the National Minimum Wage. Our local council regularly offers vacancies and thats almost become a weekly hobby, printing off their application forms, handing the envelopes in at the Customer Service Desk, and awaiting the rejection letter. They're very polite and supportive - you get such a warm feeling when you read how they're not shortlisting you but please please please don't get upset or throw yourself off the bridge... We like your applications. We do, really....

I used to think our Council were something of a bunch of jobsworths. Now I know different. I've discovered another employer in our area, a government sponsored agency, who have the most rigid and terrifying bureaucracy known to man. They advertise a job in the local paper, so I take a note of the website and attempt to download their application form. Site not recognised. Oh, I see, part of the Intelligence community no doubt?

I will not be beaten. I find their associated group website, and download it from there. Its a form in two parts and once filled in, I send it back to the address listed. Then I get an email saying "You haven't filled it in correctly. Please try again."

What is this? A game? Have I not progressed beyond the second level? I scour through the file and discover there's no warning about the little box at the bottom that should say DO NOT RETURN THIS FORM UNLESS YOU FILL THIS TINY INSIGNIFICANT BOX WITH AN EQUALLY UNIMPORTANT ANSWER.

Deep Breath. I complete the form, and send it back. Then they send a polite email saying "You've sent the wrong forms. Find the right ones attached."

The search for my El Dorado goes on then.

Hiker of the Week

Recently the forecasted 'cold snap' has hit our green and pleasant land. We even had a brief snowfall one morning last week. As I stroll through the town I see old women shuffling the weight of thirty layers of clothes. This morning though I did notice an man in his fifties, backpack, shorts, staring at a map and looking for all the world like someone out for a summer stroll.

Congratualtions mate. You finally found the Legendary Lost Town of Swindon.