The car roars across the desert. Fast paced action and immediate editing. A robot-like individual steps off his Harley Grav-bike and asks a tussle-haired young man standing fresh faced and breathless before him...

"Who are you?" (Always a good intoduction I think. Find out you the tussle haired kid is before he mugs you and sprays tags over your grav-bike)

"James Tiberius Kirk!" The young man responds with film actor defiance. No. Surely not. Star Trek has evolved toward the lowest possible level of entertainment and instead of the original almost cerebral and character driven plots, we get Star Wars 7 (Return of the Captain). Now the hero of Enterprise NCC-1701 is depicted as a Luke Skywalker clone. I can just see it know....

Kirk hangs from railing above bottomless power core. Klingon boss readies his bat'leth for the killing blow.

"Surrender, Kirk! Join with us and beat your chest like a real warrior."

Kirk grunts and moves further away...

"Kirk! I can save you you.... Look, would it help if I claimed to be your father?"

You know what? I've just realised that Hollywood has plagiarised The Mighty Boosh. The young tussle haired shaman (An erotic adventurer of the worst kind. Its true) is called Kirk.

Wow. Such a small universe.

Car Theft of the Week

Another strange event is that my car has been broken into again. This time they cut a larger hole inthe soft top on the drivers side. Cheers guys, but if you happen to be reading this, what on earth are you bothering for? The car is dead. Its been dead since last christmas. There's nothing in it, its got no steering wheel, no power, no handling qualities whatsoever. Its a pile of metal slowly going rusty. Didn't you notice that the last time you got inside it?