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Live at the New Library

caldrail

Entry posted by caldrail

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Good afternoon readers, this is Caldrail, live at the grand opening of Swindons new library. I'm going to take you now inside this wonderful edifice and...

 

"Are you with the children?"

 

Huh? What? Do I look five years old? I've got grey hair for crying out loud.

 

"Sorry Sir, library opens at two..."

 

Two o'clock. Humph. Right. Well its back to the studio for news of Caldrails latest phone call with the police.

 

Phone Call of the Week

A message left by a policeman who said they'd got a result from the report of damage to my car. Woohoo. So I phoned them back this morning and the result is.... Well they haven't actually found anything, the crime is listed as unsolved, but they've managed to convince another policeman to look for a villain, believed young and irritating.

 

New Library of the Week

Hello again. yes its caldrail live at Swindons New Library. The place is heaving with people, most of whom look bemused, and if I can... just... squeeze through the crowd of camera toting journalists... Yeah same to you mate.... a computer, one of many located in and around the building. We understand this is a state of the art system, so lets log in and try my e-mail's....

 

Aha. My emails are blocked courtesy of Swindon Borough Council. Internet security so tight you can't communicate. Well its back to the studio whilst we get this little glitch sorted....

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docoflove1974

Glad to see that the British version of Homeland Security is up and functional...no one should be allowed to read their email, lest there be *gasp* SPAM!!!

 

"...spam spam spam spam, spam spam spam spam, spam spam spam spam...LOVELY SPAM! (lovely spam!) WONDERFUL SPAM!! (wonderful spam!) LOVELY SPAM!!! SPAM!! SPAM!! SPAM!! SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!"

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caldrail

Considering the spam I get, maybe Homeland Security isn't so bad. What exactly is it? It sounds like an american survivalist anti-CIA group hell-bent on wearing camouflage jackets and denuding the woods of bears, not to mention large wooden barns stuffed full of rations and strange metal doors on the side of grassy mounds in their back yards.

 

Or have I been cruelly misled about America?

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docoflove1974
Homeland Security. They are the wonderful people who are in charge of securing the homeland. Or, in other words, making sure the terrorists don't strike again. They're in charge of making rules for entry of airports, ports of call, and any other way of getting in that's legal. Oh, and if you believe some of my conspiracy-enthusiast friends, they track the spam you get in the email, to see if you're up to no good. Supposedly they're just here for our benefit.
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