Those lads have done a grand job painting the outside of the house. For me the best thing is that they've run out of Perry Como songs, but at least the paint looks fresh.

They did carefully lay out dayglo 'wet paint' tape everywhere to stop people getting paint all over their clothes, which sort of made the place look like a crime scene. And since it was necessary to leave the outer door open last night (to avoid the wet paint gluing the door and keeping me trapped inside) some wag decided to ring my doorbell at four o'clock this morning. Cheers mate. If its the same idiot who once asked me if I was available, the answer is still no, I'm still as likely to turn violent, and you can dream on.

Advert of the Week

This has to go to the promotional email I received...

Waveform Festival features 2 live stages, 3 dance tents and an amazing chill out on a beautiful rolling hillside, with over 130 of the best live acts and DJs in all genres of dance music. Plus the solar & wind powered green village, great organic food, sauna, hot tubs and much more!

You can just see it can't you? A mass of drunken partygoers jumping up and down to a twenty megawatt metronome whilst laser blasts that would see off Darth Vader spin round frenetically. Power generated by the Solar Green Village no less. So what happens at night? Is the PA powered by greenhouse gases given off by the great organic food?

I certainly don't need to walk several miles to a muddy field to hear loud thudding music, nor having watched the evening news do I feel I will learn anything meaningful from the woolly hat wonders and their anti-everything nonsense.

I'll curl up with a good book and enjoy the peace....