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Boys Will Be Boys


caldrail

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Manhood is a difficult quality to define, for no other reason than it means something different to everyone, and even then the definition can vary according to the situation you're in. In general, its defined by the various social groups by their own standards.

 

I remember my school days. The 'lads', the dominant members of our youthful community, would always inhabit the toilet so as to smoke cigarettes in seclusion away from the disapproving gaze of irate teachers. They regarded smoking as symbolic of their manhood, it was a required activity of their exclusive tribe. I also remember how they used to panic when a teacher got curious and decided to enter the toilets in the hunt for misbehaving youths. Oooh look at me, I'm smoking, aren't I a man? Oh no, teacher! Quick, put it out! Muffled expletives and much foot stomping followed. Was I impressed with their manhood?

 

No. I wasn't. To be honest, thats the major reason I never smoked. It all seemed a bit false, an act, and the people doing it really not as manly as they liked to portray themselves as, even if they could beat me up. All part of growing up I guess. Things have changed since I was young. Fewer adults smoke, attitudes toward smoking have changed, and it really isn't the desirable symbol of adulthood it once was. One thing about kids that hasn't changed is their quest for such symbols. These days the knife has taken its place.

 

The problem with carrying potentially lethal weapons is that sometimes people are tempted to use them. A morbid curiosity perhaps. Or lashing out in a crisis that they're too emotionally immature to handle peacefully. Or simply to prove their manhood to their peers. It shouldn't suprise anyone that the majority of stabbing victims are youths. Young men compete amongst themselves for dominance according to the primeval instinct, testing themselves against each other. With each generation, you must recreate civilisation. Unless you educate and impose the values and morality of the civilised world you get little barbarians, whose only restriction on behaviour are what they believe they can get away with. The modern bully now has something much more threatening to dominate his victims with than a closed fist.

 

It annoyed me a few days ago as I watched David Beckham giving a press conference telling kids not to use knives. Very commendable, but what makes anyone believe the kids are going to listen to a bunch of self-important footballers? They may be sporting heroes but that only matters when they score the goals on the pitch. Or as fashion dummies perhaps. But as role models? These people live outside of our reach, in secure privacy or exclusive and select social circles. Beyond the 'heroism' of the pitch (and I use the term extremely loosely) there's nothing for kids to identify with because they cannot see these players acting out their normal everyday lives. They cannot interact with them for any significant period and learn from them. Not that it matters, because their lives are just so beyond those of kids wielding knives on the street.

 

So sporting heroes are not suitable as role models. The problem, they shouldn't need to be role models at all. The fathers of these youths are often missing and that certainly doesn't help. But even that isn't to blame entirely. The underlying problem is that whereas once a child was thrown into the deep end of adult life at a certain age, now he's allowed to become a teenager. A group with its own standards, its own tribal structures, learning behaviour from their peers in isolation of adult guidance. Thats where the solution will be found, otherwise boys will be boys all over again.

 

Doomsday Moment of the Week

No, not some apopalyptic prophecy - This one's sponsored by William the Conquerer. I was checking through the entires for my local area and very revealing it is, even with the terse and sparse nature of the descriptions. The king, Winchester Abbey, Glastonbury Abbey - all owned land around Swindon, itself on the edge of Savernake Forest. Forest of course meant something different back then, meaning kings land rather than large areas of trees. There's also a guy called Miles Crispin who appears to a major landowner, letting some of his holdings to his fuedal underlings. Alfred of Marlborough does something similar. Swindon itself, the old market town on the hill, was owned by Odo, Bishop of Bayeaux and a relative of King William. All thats very interesting, but when I looked the entry for Highworth, I did laugh. Stand up and take a bow, Ralph the Priest. Monty Python eat your heart out.

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Pay heed to the word of Sir Charles of Barkley, the Round Mound of Rebound, the Joker to Michael Jordan's Kindgom:

 

(from Wikipedia...and it's accurate!)

Throughout his career, Barkley had been arguing that athletes should not be considered role models. He stated, "A million guys can dunk a basketball in jail; should they be role models?" In 1993, his argument prompted national news when he wrote the text for his "I am not a role model" Nike commercial. Dan Quayle, the former Vice President of the United States, called it a "family-values message" for Barkley's oft-ignored call for parents and teachers to quit looking to him to "raise your kids" and instead be role models themselves.

 

Barkley's message sparked a great public debate about the nature of role models. He argued,

 

"I think the media demands that athletes be role models because there's some jealousy involved. It's as if they say, this is a young black kid playing a game for a living and making all this money, so we're going to make it tough on him. And what they're really doing is telling kids to look up to someone they can't become, because not many people can be like we are. Kids can't be like Michael Jordan."

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Interesting point of view. The problem is that these athletes come to public attention by media coverage of their physical exploits, not because of any superior personal traits, and therefore represent an ideal for competitive spirit rather than any inspirational virtue. Which is more important to the child? I suspect the image and the success that attracts a child to join 'with the winning team' is something that is countered in adolescence by an increasing individualism and natural desire to compete for status amongst his peers as opposed to an athlete they couldn't possibly compete with on any physical level.

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