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The kindness of strangers

docoflove1974

Entry posted by docoflove1974

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So I'm in the dressing room of the gym, after a good workout, and I'm stripping off to go into the showers. Now, if one were to look at pictures of me, even if they only saw my face, they would guess (and correctly so) that I am prolifically freckly. Indeed, previous boyfriends have kidded around that they could play connect-the-dots on my body, and would be amused for hours. 'Tis true. Freckles and moles are all over, and have been since I was a babe. I have been made aware of my sensitive skin and the use of sun block for literally decades, and pretty much know what to look for should anything go south. It took a while, but hey, I'm used to it, and it's part of who I am.

 

Anyway, I digress.

 

Some random woman came up to be as I was finishing the undressingroutine, tapped me on the shoulder, and said the following: "Oh, honey, you should have those spots looked at. You can't be too careful!"

 

Now, here's the part that grills me: not even my best friend would say this. Yet a middle aged, slightly overweight stranger will come up to me out of the blue, and SHE will say this.

 

I'm sans clothes, glaring at this amateur dermatologist, and snapped right back at her.

 

"Do you always give such impromptu diagnoses to random strangers?" (That was the closest to "F*** off!" that I was willing to go at that time.)

 

"Oh, no, but I just love to give advice!" (Gee, ain't she sweet?)

 

"Are you a dermatologist?" (I had half a thought...I mean, you never know.)

 

I swear to Christ this is what she said, with a giggle in her voice: "No, but I play one on tv." Yep, that stupid joke line.

 

I'm trying to be on my best behavior...this is a nice athletic club, and I really don't want to piss off the fellow members as I ream this airhead a new one, letting fly a long blue streak. I'm trying, really. So the best I could do was shoot her a malocchio and say, "I think I'll go with the advice of my real dermatologist, thanks." And with that, I headed off to the showers.

 

As I walked home from the gym, I called my dad. He couldn't stop laughing. To him, this was the funniest thing he had heard in a week. I'm glad my life amuses him. On the other hand, I'm not upset, just beyond annoyed that some pazza luna, as my grandmother would say, felt the need to play doctor, and not in the way that I like. I tells ya....

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Nephele

"Oh, honey, you should have those spots looked at. You can't be too careful!"

 

That's when you should have regarded her quizzically, then slowly peered at yourself and exclaimed in sudden alarm: "HOLY SHIT! I didn't have those spots when I came in here!" Rub yourself frantically with a towel. "What the fuck IS this??? OH MY GOD, there must be something contagious going around the gym!!" At this point, grab hold of the woman in desperation. "Do you have it, too??"

 

If you don't give the old yakhne a heart attack, it might at least be amusing to see her try to squirm out of your "contagious" grasp.

 

-- Nephele

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docoflove1974

LOL That's a good one! I'll have to remember that tactic!

 

I told this story to one of my friends (Denise), and she said this same pazza luna must have been at the restaurant my friend was at the other day. Denise was lunching with a friend who is both wildly successful professionally and a bit on the chunky side, when some random woman came up to her friend and said, "Oh, you really would be much prettier and would get further along in life if you dropped a few pounds." No idea what the friend's reaction was to that, but jeeeeeeezus, they're multiplying!

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Nephele
Denise was lunching with a friend who is both wildly successful professionally and a bit on the chunky side, when some random woman came up to her friend and said, "Oh, you really would be much prettier and would get further along in life if you dropped a few pounds."

 

That is just so damn rude. Tell Denise to tell her friend to tell idiots like that: "Well, I can always get thinner, but you'll never get smarter."

 

Have a new anagram alias, DoL. You're a goddess!

 

Your first name, middle initial, and last name

=

Asherah Roman

 

Asherah: Near Eastern nature and mother goddess. No wonder you like kids so much! And, of course, the surname of "Roman" is self-explanatory.

 

-- Nephele

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