The Mighty Supermarket
Ok. The blog's been running for a while, stories are getting thin on the ground, characters a bit familiar and tired, and its slowly metamorphising into Last of the Summer Wine. Time then to... Come with me now - and let me take on a journey through Time and Swindon, to the Land of the Mighty Supermarket...
Why is it, whenever I go there, that every old person seems to drift in front of me and block my progress in the search for provisions? You turn left, you turn right, you give up and use the next aisle, and they still block you. These days of course they have those infernal mobility buggies, which aren't designed to negotiate the torturous corners in your typical supermarket. Oh get out of the way Old Person, I want to go...
"Excuse me young man. Could you reach up there for me? I want a tin of peaches.."
Of course madame. There you go.
"Thank you. You're very kind."
No problem.
Now please get out of the way...
Oh no, I've attracted the attention of that young keen security guard. He's shadowing my every move like James Bond after a KGB agent. Heck, I hope no-one saw me putting that bag of vegetables in my shopping basket...
Then there's that spooky check-out lady, the one who started a few weeks ago. She's nearly ready for a bus pass too. As she lifts my bottles of coloured water through the barcode reader, she says "Good value these, aren't they?"
Yes. Yes they are. Thats why I buy them. Hasn't that possibility occured to you yet? Or that you've asked the same question each time I've used this lane at the check-out - Am I stuck in some sort of time loop? Condemned forever to pass through this ladies check out lane?
No. If I've learned anything from endless repeats of Star Trek Next Generation, there's always a way to break the cycle. Come on Caldrail, what would a trekkie do in a situation like this?
Ah yes. Beam me up Scotty....
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