Whats in your Cheesburger?
Entry posted by caldrail
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Last night I popped across the road to the kebab shop for a burger. I don't do this frequently, though I have to say I'm not particularly worried about horror stories of whats in it. Now I doubt their burgers are actually wholesome. My mother once gave me some she'd ordered along with other produce from Scotland and I have to say those were in a different league altogether. But I fancied some minced moggie, ash, and other undesirable stuff and they say a little of what you fancy does you good.
"Hi Boss" said the old guy behind the counter. These turks call everyone Boss. "Yes?"
I'll have... a cheesburger and chips please.
"Ok Boss. You wanna sauce with that?"
Chilli please.
"You wanna salad?"
Oh just onions.
"You wanna cheese with your burger?"
Don't your cheeseburgers normally come with cheese?
"Yes. But do you wanna cheese?"
Yes. Yes I do . Please put cheese on my cheeseburger. I would like mature cheddar freshly sliced straight from a refrigator.
"Yes Boss. This cheese ok?".
Is that mature cheddar frreshly sliced from a refrigerator? The young man with cross-eyes yells something turkish to the old man.
"Yes Boss. Sliced cheese. Cheese ok?.. Huh?"
Oh go on then.
'Bill Oddie' Moment of the Week
Those who don't know who Bill Oddie is, he's a tv presenter (once a comedian) who does a lot of nature programs, enthusing about small furry mammals and casting scorn on Swindon. Well, Mr Oddie, here's something you might appreciate.
My parents maintain resteraunt and hotel facilities for local wildlife, and to be fair, they do get a wide variety of birds dropping in (and sometimes dropping on us). A sparrowhawk was there, patiently waiting on the fence for the blue tits in the nesting box to come out to play. The blue tits of course were more sensible. There was that blackbird that likes to wet its feathers in the faux watercourse feature on the back wall. Then, with spectacular powers of intellect, a big fat pidgeon decided that was a cool idea and copied the blackbird, choosing instead a plastic seedbox full of rainwater. He dipped head, shook his wings. You could see him thinking 'Hey, this isn't bad', and he got more enthusiastic. Then he slipped and fell in.
The soggy pidgeon flapped and fumbled its way out of the water, flopping onto the paving stones whilst family and I burst into hysterics. It sat there looking thoroughly embarrased.
I guess you had to be there.
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