We Are Not Alone!!!!
I've just watched a video about things alien. That image of the rock that looks suspiciously like sasquatch. An enthusiastic 'expert' getting exciting about meeting real live aliens from Out There (doesn't he have any real friends?). Film clips of a psychopathic alien smelling Sigourney Weaver, cute grey thingy waving at the assembled scientists on a mountain top, intergalactic hippie E.T. getting caught with no clothes on by a kid, and a gelatinous blob terrorising small town america. Quotes from Stephen Hawking inform us that in the infinity of space, there must be aliens out there (but not close, or we'd see their tv programs).
I don't know about you, but if there's hyper-intelligent blobs out there bent on terrorising small town america by abducting innocent cannabis smokers and chopping up cows for laughs, then why would they waste their time watching soap operas? Can you imagine an alien soap opera?
Female Alien Kghdj, I wish to submit an emotional report to you
Male Alien Dnmdiu, I have already nested with Dgdjsd.
Female Alien She cannot give you podlings like I can.
Male Alien Affirmative Dnmdiu. However the Pod-Lord has dictated that we invade the next street tommorrow and I cannot have any distractions.
Female Alien You are no longer light relief. I will now commit revenge.
Male Alien I am registering suprise... blob repellent on my anti-weather equipment!
Door opens and Male Aliens Mate (Third Gender) enters
Male Aliens Mate (Third Gender) Huh? Whats is occuring here? Dnmdiu, are you engaged in an extra-pod-ical relationship with with my First Gender Mate?
Aliens stand waiting for closing credits
You would think that aliens could create superior television programs. I suspect the real reason we haven't seen any is because their soap operas are even worse than ours, and its too embarrasing to admit that the most hyper intillgent species in the galaxy is obsessed with who is replicating with who. I therefore submit that aliens did build the pyramids, but that human beings missed the whole point. It was an alien filmset ("Thanks humanity, that was a cool movie, but we don't need those pyramids now"). Perhaps the long journey from their planet to ours gets a little boring given the universe has an irritating speed limit (no speed cameras discovered yet - God hasn't thought of that one). So I'd imagine the real reason they pop up here to play catch me with jet fighters and ruin airline pilots careers is just for something to do, or is it they're looking for a compatible toilet facility?
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