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NEWSFLASH - South Carolina Annexed


caldrail

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We interrupt your normal reading to bring you the latest story, hot off the press. The Independent Peanut Republic of Rushey Platt has announced that they have annexed the state of South Carolina. Rushey Platt apologises to the USA for the incovenience, and assures citizens of their new dominion that they will not be required to fill in british tax returns. That concludes this newsflash, we'll bring you updates on this story as it happens. Over to our on-the-spot reporter, Sally Forth. Whats happening out there Sally?

 

Well not much Caldrail. Everyone seems unpeturbed by the news, and having asked several South Carolinians, it seems they're totally unaware they're now part of Rushey Platt

 

Thats excellent news Sally. We're still hoping to get a reaction from George Bush later in this blog. Stay with us, and we'll return to blow by blow coverage of Rushey Platt vs Spittle Croft.

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Deer mister coldrail?

 

Were iz sout karolineuh! were iz pushy pratt! duz deze plasez hav al kida or terrorizimists or liberillizmissts! i stil hav som girl skouts that i kan send over 2 u. They kan bring fredom $ demokrazy 2 dose plasez! Kum on down 2 the ranch & u kan b mi nu best frend? r u a kompasshunist konservvatimizmist! if u luze 2 dose spitkraft bad guyz il hav mi supremz fiks the skore! r u playying poool@ luk il b owt of a jobb sune! ikan run doze plasez.

 

dubya

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Well if you've just joined us that was apparently a reaction from George Bush. We'll have an in depth translation of that on the hour. Meanwhile, in other news....

 

Park to become top tourist attraction

How many times have I heard this about Swindon? Every so often they have this great scheme to put the town on the map, to make a bright, lively place to be, a town to be proud of.

 

Trouble is, it hasn't occured to these ambitious planners that the average swindoner isn't interested in anything except clubbing on a saturday night, clubbing pensioners for chip money, or clubbing together in various third world ghettoes.

 

Top tourist attraction eh? I wonder what the admission charge is going to be?

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deer mister coldrail#

 

watz wit dese swindlerz! du u wnat mor oar wood u lik to sen dem to me! most uv mine r in the slamer now & de rest r on the wa? eye cud use som more swindlerz.

 

yur pal,

dubya

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