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Exciting News From Albion

caldrail

Entry posted by caldrail

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Hello, I'm Caldrail, she isn't, and you're reading The Albion News Network (brought to you by International Portakabins - "We don't break windows").

 

Todays headlines - Major logisitics company fail to deliver parcels.... Warehouse manager under investigation for failing to meet deadlines.... Security guard mocked for failing to send Caldrail to the right door.....Office girl sacked for failing....

 

We'll have more on these stories later, but now, an important message from our sponsors...

 

Hi... Have you ever wanted a Portakabin? Well, you can. Here at International Portakabins we deliver industrial accomodation to anywhere around the world just when you thought it was all going to end in catastrophic explosions. Our clean cut square jawed heroes will save the day at a price you can afford...

 

In other news, Brittania is to be removed from british coinage. What?!!! How dare they?!!! A symbol of our defunct empire is to be consigned to the rubbish bin, another cornerstone of our heritage erased in our governments quest to rebuild Britain as a third world banana republic. How else can they get us to sign up for the United States of Europe? In order to become europeans they must first disassemble british patriotism. It must be said that british history isn't taught in schools anymore, and kids are educated to feel embarrased and dismissive of past achievements. Why do they want us to part of Europe? It gets their name in the history books. It'll all end in tears eventually. After all, this move toward a united europe is an unconcious effort to recreate the Roman Empire. Thing is, Europe cannot offer anything we don't already have, so thats another reason why Britain is being pulled apart bit by bit.

 

Ban politicians. Vote Rushey Platt!

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Gaius Octavius

Now, that's better! You work for my kind of company. Must be owned by Basil Fawlty and managed by Manuel. What do you mean that Albion has lost her empire? You still have Gibralta and Las Malvinas. Would you like South Carolina - back? Wouldn't go into work on Friday the Thirteenth. Do I take it that Manuel wants the kind of girl who is on the game?

 

Who's your MP? Bertie Wooster?

 

More importantly, what do you think that the score will be when the Rushey Platt eleven meet Spittle Croft next week?

 

:D

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caldrail

Las Malvinas? Where on earth is... oh... you mean the Falkland Islands? Bit of a faux pas there GO.

 

South Carolina would be fine. Please make the arrangements.

 

Our MP isn't Bertie Wooster, but the Lord Mayor of London is Boris Johnson - He comes close.

 

Rushey Platt Eleven against those wimps from Spittle Croft? Whats the point in turning up, we're bound to win. Just make the score 3-1 by default and we won't hurt anyone :D

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Gaius Octavius
Rushey Platt Eleven against those wimps from Spittle Croft? Whats the point in turning up, we're bound to win. Just make the score 3-1 by default and we won't hurt anyone :D

 

Not if you play in your unlucky and doomed warehouse chicken field!

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