Jump to content
UNRV Ancient Roman Empire Forums
  • entries
    1,146
  • comments
    1,165
  • views
    266,389

Open Sesame

caldrail

Entry posted by caldrail

565 views

 Share

Picture a busy day in the Warehouse. Sheets and sheets and sheets of orders are appearing in AD's hands as he emerges flustered from the offices. Our tame forklifter is depositing pallet after pallet from the racks. His quiet smile is very disturbing.

 

Finally AD and his boss saunter off to their high level meeting. Time now to go into the offfice, sit down, and catch up with some of those tiny administrative duties that are such good excuses for an easy time. Close the door, shut the windows... Ahh what bliss...

 

Relaxed and refreshed, I decide its time to go back out onto the floor and catch up with some of those pallets clogging our work area. The door is stuck. Ok, maybe there's a trick to this. Nope. The door is stuck, and I'm stuck inside the office. Everyone outside is flashing past on noisy forklifts, totally unaware of my predicament. There's no phone line yet, so no go there. Can't use the internet, we haven't got a connection. The fax is out for the same reason. I have a quick search for rescue flares, but no joy there either. Just as I was about to wave my shirt out the window with a handwritten plea for assistance in black marker pen, I remember my mobile phone. Except that AD is the only person in the warehouse I have a number for and he's switched his off because he's in a top level meeting. Nonetheless, I send him a text... He might read read it in a day or two.

 

Remembering my survival training I look around to see what I can use to stay alive until rescued. There's a kettle, half full of water, tons of coffee granules, and some sugar in a strangely speckled white and brown colour. Everything I need to sustain myself for a couple of hours before I'm found!

 

As luck would have it, our tame forklifter drives into our area with another pallet, looking a little confused as to why nothing has moved since his last visit. After some shouting and frantic waving of the arms, he realises I'm in need of assistance. He ambles to the window in curiosity whereupon I ask him to open the door. Please.

 

Freedom!

 

Eventually AD returns and I mention the one way door. He listened politely but you kind of get the impression he doesn't think I have any idea how doors function. Nonetheless, he assured me he'll look into it.

 

I arrive for work the next morning. AD does the decent thing and admits that having tried the door, he couldn't get out either. Apparently he phoned for a locksmith shortly afterward who assured AD that doors don't stick like that. "Well try it yourself." AD suggested.

 

He did. "Uhhh, lemme out will you?.." A muffled voice from inside the porta-palace could be heard.

 

The door is now fixed.

 

Headline of the Week

The local newspaper had a headline to effect that obesity and poverty are linked. Not really sure how, since surely consuming more food requires a bigger wallet (or perhaps thats the reason in itself?), but don't you think this more reinforcement of social stereotypes? I'm not particulary wealthy these days, but obese? Rubbish. Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to get an emperor-sized burger down the road...

 Share

6 Comments

Recommended Comments

Lost_Warrior

*rotfl* We had a closet door like that at the gas station. Our manager thought it was great fun to lock people who she didn't like in there. :) They eventually put a key on a long chain on the inside of the closet, in case someone got locked in.

 

I would have just kicked the door down. :)

Link to comment
docoflove1974

RE: Obesity

 

It's not a question of how much food in general costs. Here in the States, the cheapest items *per item* (not by weight...so this tosses out produce and meats) are high carb itmes--pasta, rice--and the packaged/processed foods which are high in fat and salt. But what compounds this is that people don't know how to shop nor do they know how to plan.

 

For a long time I thought that veggies and meat were too expensive...when in reality I was an eejit. I bought stuff that I couldn't use up, lots of Kraft mac n cheese (and added extra cheese to it). As a result, I got very heavy. I finally woke up, and figured out how to plan to get the most out of everything...and realized how to plan the produce and meats so that I could afford pretty much whatever I wanted. It also helps that I know how to cook pretty well...another skill which seems to be dying. Make things out of a box! Cripes...with so many programs on TV showing you how to cook the simplest things, there's no excuse anymore!

Link to comment
caldrail

A worthy answer Docoflove... (munch)... yeah I can see where you're coming from... (belch).... Darn good burger this....

 

By the way GO, not every day is a calamity, its just I don't want to boast excessively and in any case, lifes little trials are so much more entertaining to read. But just for you, here's what happened last night.

 

I was at a celebrity party hosted by the beckhams when these terrorists burst in. Needless to say, I used my SAS training to employ a candlestick as a lethal weapon. Swinging in over their heads via chandelier I despatched the villains, won the heart of the requisite love interest, and discovered to my absolute joy I have a winning ticket in the lotto. Then I woke up.

Link to comment
Gaius Octavius

"I was at a celebrity party hosted by the beckhams when these terrorists burst in. Needless to say, I used my SAS training to employ a candlestick as a lethal weapon. Swinging in over their heads via chandelier I despatched the villains, won the heart of the requisite love interest, and discovered to my absolute joy I have a winning ticket in the lotto. Then I woke up."

 

You don't call that a calamity? Sheesh! :)

 

The cure for obesity is to eat the kind of food you wouldn't feed to a cobra. And have an extra dry Muddy Tini with it. :)

 

Oscar Wilde

:)

Link to comment
Gaius Octavius

It's almost a week and no new tragedy? A fork lift through a building wall? An al quida attack? A noxious gas explosion blowing the can to Chichester? I depend on you for exciting news from Albion. :D

 

:D

Link to comment
×
×
  • Create New...