Many years ago, I met up for a game session with a bunch of guys, some of whom I knew well, others I didn't. One chap who was a friend of someone else and not known to me at all, interrupted the proceedings and said "Your mascara is running".
I was pretty mystified by that comment, but his leering expression made itself felt. I wasn't happy with that slur, and just to make the point, my friends seemed as mystified by his attitude as I was. The week after, as I was leaving, I noticed a book o
There's always been a certain amount of sexual cross-over in human societies. Most cultures have stories of woman who take on mens roles. We read of a female samurai, capable and deadly. We read of women hiding amongst the ranks of redcoats pretending to be boys. The native americans, of the plains tribes at least, tended to accept that not all men wanted to be warriors, and if a man wanted to stay in the camp and do womens work that was his choice. And so on.
Today we see all sorts of mani
I remember there was a hullabaloo some years back when some young man killed himself listening to suicide solution by Ozzy Osbourne. The tragedy is one thing, the association is perhaps a little strained because if you pay attention to the lyrics you discover the song is actually about alcohol abuse.
There was a publicised court case when Judas Priest were prosecuted over someones elses death, the idea being that the lyrics contained reversed messages. Ridiculous. Who bothers to listen to mu
Today I decided to journey down to the local sports center. At last there's a break in the inclement weather so I thought I'd forgo my usual survival outfits and make the expedition in something resembling a reasonable appearance. Beige trousers no less. Now if thats not a challenging fashion statement, what is?
On my way down there I stepped on the wrong leaf. Its autumn of course and there's plenty of them littering the pavement. Worse still, it rained last night and with this yellow veget
Greek and Armenian monks in Jerusalem have always argued over petty issues. Such is the religious significance of the site. A monk need only stand in the wrong place to incite a confrontation. the only difference this time is that it came to blows. The sight of monks and priests lashing out at one another in a holy riot isn't something we've seen since the Spanish Inquisition. Nobody expected that.
Christianity, in all its forms, likes the moral high ground. It presents a set of absolute rul
Something unusual made the headlines in the local paper recently. It seems our new library has given state-of-the-art facilities. 'Green' toilets - as if that means anything to me. Now I don't usually spend much time in public toilets (although I understand that is one way to get your name in the news - thanks for the tip George) and I haven't seen these new facilities. However, just like the previous locations, the locals have been creative in using them and so the after a few weeks the toilets
I love human language (obviously), and I love human behavior. We are absolutely fascinating creatures. We form tribal units every where we can. Oh, sure, we don't consider them 'tribal units', but really they are. We seek out others who are like us in some way, and even go so far as to give ourselves names, a kind of identity to distinguish ourselves from the other tribal groups. Even though we interact among several of these groups, and we therefore have seemingly multiple allegiances, we
In a speech here in Columbus, Barack Obama posed an unusual challenge to McCain's independence: "He hasn't been a maverick. He's been a sidekick. He's like Cato to the Green Lantern."
Don't they teach anything at Harvard Law School? For the record, it's Green Hornet, not Green Lantern.
Sometimes I watch tv. No really. I don't often indulge (other than Top Gear, BBC News, and the odd Star Trek episode - Boy do I live fast and dangerous) but last night, no-one could stop me. Anyhow, it was quite late when I pointed the remote at a black box and to my suprise, the normally innocuous channel was showing a sex program. Sex? On british tv? Thats a suprise....
The american program revolved around a holiday resort for sado-masochistic women. It was styled after a british stately h
(**Warning...venting allert. No advice necessary, just need to pout and mope. All is well, I promise!**)
My dad picked the wrong week to go on vacation. Dammit.
Usually when I have questions on certain subjects, I go to him. One is physiology. Not because he's a doctor or has any medical training whatsoever. Instead, he's someone who has done a ton of reading, has felt pain of pretty much every position on the spectrum, and is a logical person. He's the person who taught me that n
This morning I was walking up a street around the corner from where I live. Strewn with yellow and brown leaves, damp after last nights rainfall. It was also covered with broken glass in one place beside a car.
Yes, the mystery car thief has struck again. Its hard to understand what he gains from this. Its entirely opportunistic, his targets are at random, and judging by the stuff left lying around the car I passed today, he simply isn't interested in what he finds. So is after anything spec
According to a recent survey by an employment website, only 14% of people ever end up in their dream job. What they haven't asked is how many of those 14% succeed at it. As a confirmed member of the politically stronger Failure Party (86% of the vote at the last count) I would like to point out getting your dream job is only half the battle, and that keeping it is sometimes a little tougher. There is of course the old wisdom that you should beware of what you wish for, and that the grass is alwa
Yep, its AM. He's sat two cubicles away from me in the library as I write this and whinging away like nothing else.
Mutter mutter.. groan... can't send my emails... stupid computer.... why won't this work.... oh no.... not again.... mutter mutter....
Funny thing is, some unemployed guy, older than me and obviously unacquainted with personal computing, was getting help making a job application via the internet. AM looked over his shoulder irritably A - because they were disturbing his wh
Funny things motorbikes. When you're young they seem so iconic. When you old they seem so symbolic. When they blast up the street they seem so noisy.
When I was very young I used to see Evel Knievel featured on the news, preparing once again to crash his bike spectacularly in front of thousands. He wasn't the first to do motorcycle stunts by any means, the 'Wall of Death' sometimes featured in circuses and so on, but Mr Knievel had a talent for publicity. It seems though he had little talent
My navel ring did NOT grow shut, in fact...the hole shrunk quite a bit but I was able to stretch it back open, and I now have a beautiful new titanium barbell from Industrial Strength. It's a shorter barbell, at first I thought it was too short, but I LOVE the shorter barbell. It feels so much more comfortable than the longer one I had been wearing.
(You can see the nasty surgery scar that is *slowly* healing and fading, and yes, my stomach is that hairy LOL I should totally take a better pi
During my last years at school I was a little less than well behaved. Nothing malicious, just totally unable to act in a mature or acceptable manner. It was of course a teenage rebellion. The teachers were not impressed and I remember stern lectures and demands to know what I intended to do when I left school and went out into the big wide world.
I chose to join the Royal Air Force. So I popped down the recruiting office and the man in uniform there said "Sorry, Son, no vacancies". Huh? Well
Good afternoon readers, this is Caldrail, live at the grand opening of Swindons new library. I'm going to take you now inside this wonderful edifice and...
"Are you with the children?"
Huh? What? Do I look five years old? I've got grey hair for crying out loud.
"Sorry Sir, library opens at two..."
Two o'clock. Humph. Right. Well its back to the studio for news of Caldrails latest phone call with the police.
Phone Call of the Week
A message left by a policeman who said they'd
The doorbell rang early in the morning, or at least, it was early for me. In true jobless fashion I muttered a few curses and rolled over back to sleep. About an hour or two later I got up, and got ready for a hike in the local area. Down the stairs, pack on my back, out the door, down the alleyway and....
I stopped short when I spotted the door to my car left wide open. The soft top had been cut with knife in three places, not as random vandalism, but with every intention of obtaining acces
Recently I bumped into a lady I've known distantly for a long time. To be honest, I've never really spoken to her much, but on this occaision we got talking.
She began by enquiring about my historical research, something she'd noticed me doing at the library. The reason for her interest had nothing to do with my natural charm, physical assets, or bank balance, but rather my soul. It turns out she's a keen member of one of those odd christian sects that you see from time to time. Hers is a do
There was a film on release some years ago called Ronin, a tale of skulduggery as mercenaries are hired to retrieve a package. In one memorable scene, Robert De Niro finally loses his patience with Sean Bean whose character had made a big deal of having been an SAS soldier. "What colour is the boat-house at Hereford?" He yells at him. Sean Bean becomes flustered and cannot answer, exposed as an imposter. De Niro later admits to a witness that he doesn't know anything about a 'boat-house at Heref
Its almost impossible to escape the news that the global banking system is wobbling. Governments are stepping in and in some cases, falling out (I refer to Britain freezing Icelandic assets over concerns about the amount of british money held there).
One chap contacted the news team and said that forty years ago he needed an interview with his bank manager for a loan of
