The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington designating Southern slang, or y'allbonics, as a language to be taught in all Southern schools.
The following are excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary:
HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.
HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage "Heidi, Hire yew?"
BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow. "Usage "My brother bard
Monday last, the Domina Claudia :wub: :wub: took off for some place in the boondocks, namely, knoxberg, 10AC. The Imperial Pro-Crastinator was supposed to be left well supplied. Well, the Old Moor Hen Shredded Sporran is almost at an end. The stompings don't look as if they will last the week. Down to the last half dozen beers. I have no idea what the things left in the fridge are.
This is the status quo:
Bride in the boondocks. :wub: :wub:
Nurse Mary in Basra. :wub:
Private Bohp
WISDOM - FROM THE MILITARY MANUAL
"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit.
- Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.
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"Aim towards the Enemy."
- Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher
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"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
-U.S.Marine Cor
Sunday last, as I sat sad and dreary at my computer contemplating posts at UNRV, there came a banging, a gentle banging, from the streets below. Twas the garbage men alerting sleeping citizens of the approaching Midnight Hour. This I thought, and nothing more. Then there came a peace shattering tingle from the phone. Me thought a lost and lonely soul seeking solace at the Plutonian shore. This me thought, and nothing more. Twas a fellow dweller in one of the stacked apartments, seeking my omnisc
Komrades:
Seems that a certain party quoted from his bible over an open mike. Who knows, maybe God told him to do so in one of their recurrent chats. It is my present understanding that folks who talk to God usually become saints or are hauled off to the booby-hatch and not into the now Black House. And getting one of the heads of state attention by belching the Brookfordshiresexington formal "Yo!"
It has also come about that the party of god and freedom and liberty wants to lift the pre
Now that that rebel, Pantagathus, has driven me to the vine and the stalk, I tell all. As you may or may not know, I have some good looking babe visiting me while the Domina is abroad. She is 21. Now, her sister, who is 16, is going to visit Ameica. She's a knock out also. They will be staying with me next weekend. The building will go beserk! The men will be jealous and the women won't be able to hold their water until the Domina comes home and they tell all. When they were nippers, I bounced
At first, you must understand that Jacky Kelly and I were the best of friends. Common assaults on each other were a daily practice. Aside from a lot of first-aid, they were of no consequence to neither ourselves, the flatfoots nor our parents, as they all felt that it was much better and safer for us to try to kill each other than for them to do the work. It would also do some little good for our black, sin stained, damned souls.
Visitation Place was a one block street, bounded on one side
Komrades:
I am technologically challenged, (amongst many other things).
This is a test as to what happens.
I love this site and the people on it. In addition to getting an education on my Glorious Imperial Ancestors of Blessed Memory, I am getting to learn something about using this devils machine.
About myself:
I lie and obfuscate when necessary.
I never pay off on a bet that I have lost, but I expect others to cough up when I win.
I have no problems with plagerizing.
I
Since I will probably be a member of the 'Damnatio" by Evening Song, let me get this off of my chest. I am perfectly willing to return all the meager taxes you Liberarians and other neo-con job artists have ever paid on your paltry income, with compound interest at the then prevailing Treasury bond rate. I will now teach you what 'Capitalism' is. If you ever breathe the air, ching-ching, at MY rate. If you ever go to a university, hospital, ball park - ching-ching. Have a sewer line, telephone,
Done with the permission of the contra party (Praebitorae).
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QUOTE
"Hey, My Lady:
Actually, it's not very funny to me.
These sub-morons drive me to distraction. Yeah, lets kill all the Jews! Even the doctors who are keeping me alive! Even my neighbors! The ones I joke with, and have lunch with. And then there was my Grand Aunt, who may have been Jewish.
Komrades:
La Belle France beat Espana. The radio trash talkers will be besides themselves. What will the wrong rev. robberson chalk it up to? Metrosexuality?
Now I get it! After all these years! The N.Y. Times has been in the forefront of treason and sedition. Thank you pres. chinney! Didn't know that all y'all could read. The Times no less.You had better get under the beds of the miscreants who leaked the stuff. How is the Valerie Pflame affair going? Not to be too nosy, but how's your
I was sitting cross legged in front of the radio. My elbows on my knees and my chin perched on my palms. I was listening to the Lone Ranger. I was galloping on Silver and plugging owlhoots. My reverie was rudely interrupted when I heard the two most odious words in the English language - Thamiss and school - all in the same sentence! Thamiss has plagued me all my life. Somehow it comes natural to humans. I think that it is the first word my grand-niece ever uttered. It follows me like a curse. I
A couple of y'all are aware of the fact that I took a hit in the Imperial Portfolio. I am trying to make up this short fall with a Black Sale of my monograph: "On the Rudiments of Elementary Bad Manners"; a necessity for those lacking in the matter. It is offered at the previously unheard of pre-certified pre-discounted discounted price of 69 bucks. (Plus taxes and S&H.) But wait! Order one and you'll get two! Give one to a needy friend. You'll also get a C-note rebate!
Some members of the Forum seem to have some minor problems these days. Really, nothing of any consequence compared to mine. Cogitate:
My Bride was supposed to go on a cruise in the Carib starting Thursday last, for a fortnight. She was supposed to meet a gaggle of her pals from 10uhC and mis(take)again in San Juan, P.R., on that day, to commence their carousing. Since La Donna Sophia, and Lady Farrow were otherwise occupied, I made arrangements for Lady Jane (Bury-Me-In- A-"Y"-Shaped-Coffin
You are aware, of course, of the ill begotten rich Brit investmant bankers shuffled off to texass to answer to the magistrates for their peccadillos in re the Enron affair. Well, well founded rumors have it that the red necks are practicing with their ropes preparatory to a neck stretching party. Beer, skittles and bar-b-que will be served at the party. All s are invited.
This little bit popped up. It seems that the Department of Defense has been selling hi-tech military stuff to any and
It has devolved to the PRESENCE to relate the sad intelligence that His Grace, The Lord of the Herbs, Pertinax, :notworthy: is presently situate in the donjon of the Highland Laird, Peter of Perth. It came about in this fashion:
Whilst presiding at a Perfect Patented Pertimaxus party in a popular porter pleasure parlour in the Port of Perth in Perthshire, a Pictish piper was playing some moaning and groaning on his pipes in the pronaos. When His Grace :notworthy: had had his fill of the no
If you have been paying any attention to my blog, then you know that Pantagathus has been plagued by weresquirrels. He has been trying to cultivate some rare species of flora, namely, daisies, in the wilderness called a garden in those parts. Simply put: he plants and waters; the squirrels munch and water. His Greekness finally had enough. He engaged the services of Sherlock Plopodopulous, and his brother Hercule Terraproctulos. They in turn hired the famous Cherokee Indian tracker, Ashley Wilke
I am sure that all y'all have noted that My Lord of the Greeks, Pantagathus :notworthy: is AWOL. You have also probably noted that he is now from Erebus. Blackness! The Son of Chaos! Mt Erebus is the world's southern most volcano, and the largest by volume. He is presently having Vulcan make a sword for him to get at those pesky weresquirrels and the protohominid who invaded the manor house. :sniper:
When matters are settled, My Lord :notworthy: will search for another place to come fro
My Dearest Romans:
It has fallen to my saddened lamentable lot to have to inform you of the recent savaging of His Greekness, Don Giovanni :notworthy:, by a squardron of savage squirrels (Arboratus Rodentus Ratus).
Whilst he was gargling a brew, and taking in the visions of lightly clad maidens, the lately reported cowardly Red Coated vulture, cruelly interrupted his sanguine reverie and swooped down and fowlly snuffed another innocent chipmunk. This action could no longer stand. His
I hope that I have the names right, but here goes anyway:
Once upon some good hundred plus years ago, Commodore Vanderbuilt was collecting railroads. He decided the Erie Railroad would be nice to have, so he started buying up its stock. Now, there was a chap called Jay Gould, who really owned the RR. JG thought that it would be a very good idea to print up stock certificates as fast as the good Comm. could buy them. For some unearthly reason, the Comm. got the idea that he had bought the RR
Fellow Boozers:
Some Korean Mooney type, named Rock Lee, has invaded America. This new blister hath sattethe on the right side of God. He hathethe commanded angels. But can't seem to get that walking on water thingy right. Probably can't do the Cana bit either.
Will trade him for a couple of millions of wetbacks - or one Brigantine - or yea, and I sayethe unto all y'all, Col. Rupert Rebel!
Domina Claudia, in Her wisdom, has just named me Pontifex Messimus. I wonder why?
Some Russian
February is the dreariest month of the year.
Pantagathus and Perinax aren't here.
La Donna Sophia will seldom appear.
Nephele wears combat boots this time of year.
And Ursus can be a pain in the rear.
Faustus needs a good tax man.
Coldrail is locked in the porta can.
The Klingon is a frozen man.
Kosmic eats frogs out of a tin can.
And Ramses can be a pain in the can.
Moon has a corner on gold.
L W has a nasty cold.
MPC will never fold.
The G-Man is very bold.
And a swift ki
Since I make fun of everyone, here's one on me:
PORCOFACIO UNSCRUPULATO
San Francisco contractor, Porcofacio Unscrupulato, 68, of Canale Capone, North Beach, died yesterday from injuries he received in the collapse of a building he was inspecting, prior to sale to Roosevelt Moses of Oakland.
Born in Molto Pubisco, Italy, Unscrupulato was brought to this country at age 11 by his parents, Regurgito and Nauseata Unscrupulato.
Active for many years in community affairs, Unscrup
