On my way to the sports center I passed a billboard announcing the latest headline from our local rag - Man Accused of Pointing Gun At Policeman. Well I can understand his frustration, but its more evidence of the steady creep of gun culture here in Britain.
Following the Dunblane Massacre, the government effectively banned the private ownership of guns, aside from shotguns but you still need to justify that ownership to the authorities. The sort of massacres we see played out in America are
Back in the sixties Gene Roddenberry sold an idea to a film studio for a tv series about 'A wagon train to the stars'. It was one of those simple and cheap concepts that studios loved at that time, and they weren't expecting anything more intellectually challenging than Lost In Space. Instead of Bonanza with ray guns, they got spikey ears, emotionless women, and a plot you actually needed to think about. That was quite a shock for the time.
Now of course the original Star Trek is a much love
And now on Channel UNRV, we go deep into the rainforest as Caldrail Attenborough presents Planet Alleyway...
(Cue theme music and titles)
Hello. I'm Caldrail Attenborough, and this is a typical back alleyway in the depths of the rainforests of Darkest Wiltshire. In the next hour we'll looking at the rich variety of wildlife that exists in this remote corner of England, and hopefully, we'll discover some of the more exotic and reclusive creatures that live in Planet Alleyway.
We enter
My search for gainful employment continues. Here in Britain we have job agencies, people who sell people to companies as employees. I don't know about you, but thats perilously close to slave labour in my view. However, the reality is that if I want a well paid job, then I'll probably have to do business with them. Then again there are job agencies and there are job agencies. Some inhabit plush air-conditioned office, others have small dingy first floor rooms with coffee making equipment that wa
The last week has been a miserable procession of rainy days. Not those romantic downpours so beloved of Tina Turner, its those claggy dull grey squalls that we British like to call weather. But now I think about it, what happened to August? We hardly had any sunshine at all, and the indian summer we sometimes get in September looks like being a washout.
Its hardly Global Warming is it? But then it occurs to me that since we get most of our weather second-hand from America, and that they get
I was walking through Lydiard Park on my home from a hike in the country the other day. The weather was officially sunshine and showers, though as it hadn't rained, the ground was pasable and there were some excellent cloudy skies, full of mood and drama. I'd write a poem but lets be honest, I'm not poetic in the slightest, and since a picture tells a thousand words, I took some photo's instead. None of which were any good. C'est la vie.
Anyway, I came round the corner of the house (Open to
There's a car advert thats been shown on tv for some time now and it still bugs me. A stylish young man in his dayglo green Mazda hatchback does handbrake turns around the studio with beautiful female dancers trying to stop him from drving away. It never did look right. Firstly, the hatchback is the same as the car his granny would drive. Without the body kit, spoilers, rubber-band tires, and a twelve pounder cannon sticking out under the back it just wasn't the sort of car he would be seen dead
Those lads have done a grand job painting the outside of the house. For me the best thing is that they've run out of Perry Como songs, but at least the paint looks fresh.
They did carefully lay out dayglo 'wet paint' tape everywhere to stop people getting paint all over their clothes, which sort of made the place look like a crime scene. And since it was necessary to leave the outer door open last night (to avoid the wet paint gluing the door and keeping me trapped inside) some wag decided t
What a morning - it's all go at the Caldrail residence. This morning, at the ungodly hour of half past eight, I was dragged from my bed by a knock on the door. Before me were two suspicious characters who cheerfully said "All right mate? We're just gonna paint the house..."
Well thats very kind of you. Just wait there will you?.... I'd not received a letter about this so I proceed to phone the letting agent who phoned the landlord who phoned the property maintenance firm who phoned the landl
Now that the Bank Holiday weekend is over its time to go back to the search for gainful employment. A quick walk down to the newsagent to pick up my weekly local rag. It proudly states there
I can remember how it felt during the 1970's Munich Olympics. Is was as if the entire world had stopped and taken time out to show every single event. To some extent thats the case, because with limited tv channels and dire programming what else could compete with it?
These days there's hundreds of tv channels with all sorts of specialised programming that wouldn't even consider showing olympic footage. Is that a good thing? I'm actually starting to wonder. The media hype about events like t
Waiting outside the library for opening time has become something of a ritual for me. Its funny how its a daily ritual for a lot of others too, and the same faces keep on turning up. We pretty much arrive at our usual times, and line up in the same positions. The wonderful diversity of life hasn't quite colonised Swindon then.
As was easily predicted, the same librarian unlocked the door (We'll call her Miss K) , a fidgety thin girl who rushes around like a housefly. There's a power operated
Manhood is a difficult quality to define, for no other reason than it means something different to everyone, and even then the definition can vary according to the situation you're in. In general, its defined by the various social groups by their own standards.
I remember my school days. The 'lads', the dominant members of our youthful community, would always inhabit the toilet so as to smoke cigarettes in seclusion away from the disapproving gaze of irate teachers. They regarded smoking as
Its all quiet on the western front. There's nothing moving in no-mans land, and here in my trench, eating ration packs and latrine duty are the norm.
The weather is typically british. Its sunny one moment, raining the next. The skill of dodging rainshowers and going about your daily business without getting soaked is something picked up from years of practice, and right now its proving very useful in keeping dry.
The noisy young lads don't seem to going to the library anymore, or perhaps
On a hike through the countryside yesterday I came across a group of horses in the field I was crossing. I've always got time for animals, and whilst I know absolutely nothing about horses in particular, I always stop for some quality time if I can. The horse gave me a sniff - they all do that - and for a moment let me stroke it. Then it reared its head and bared its teeth at me. The funny thing was, I knew exactly what that horse was saying.
"Ok, you've said hello, now get lost".
I to
Seven months after he vanished from his Gloucester home Murphy the Gnome was found alive and well on his owners doorstep, along with a photographic record of his travels around the world. This heart-warming tale just goes to show there's more to gnomes than meets the eye.
Usually these quiet citizens of our front gardens don't travel at all. They lead a static existence, holding fishing rods and sitting there even in the worst inclement weather. They're good neighbours. They never get angry
On the tv news I saw an old woman despairing of having to face the consequences of another war again at her age. "Why can't we all live in peace?" she asks.
Why indeed? Because human beings aren't a peaceful species. In order for us to survive, nature has developed us to be social animals, competing for resources, survival of the fittest, and so on. In the modern world, those instincts are still there. It isn't just politics and war though. We see the same instincts played out in business, o
Its Friday night in Newcastle. Having spent the day travelling there by train and then searching the city center for historical relics, we were in the mood to relax. Drinks all round then. The barman in the hotel suggested we might want to try a certain game played with dice in a box, and that kept us entertained for a few hours. Inevitably we were getting tired, so it was good night and off to my hotel room.
It was hot. Even with the window open I was gasping for breath. Are the radiators o
Just around the corner from where I live is a nice little spot called Queens Park. Its the remnant of an abandoned railway tunnel entrance that was turned into a public park, now surrounded by housing developments that sprang up in the 20's and 30's. Its a lovely place with a natural patina thats difficult to achieve deliberately. The central lake is surrounded by thick bushes and trees, lots of overhanging willows and pines on small islands, and the local waterfowl use it as a hotel with free r
As an unemployed person I have to say there are one or two disadvantages to being on the dole. One is that everyone else think you're a lazy good for nothing sponging off the state, the second is that your Claims Advisor thinks you're a lazy good for nothing sponging off the state.
She called my name out and as I stepped forward to her desk, she raised her eyebrows at my suntan. Fresh from my journey home from Newcastle a few hours earlier I looked like I'd spent the weekend on a tropical b
I've just watched an advert on tv. Its sponsored by the government, and tells us that if we don't act now our world will become hotter with dire results to our comfortable lives. It ends with a a view of the world wrapped in a red hot atmosphere. Thats a chilling message isn't it? It is of course designed to frighten us out of our complacency. It is, without doubt, propaganda.
Our government is socialist and whilst it has politicans in the public eye who proclaim their wish to further the pr
Swindon to Newcastle is about six hours by train. Time to settle into the seat, relax, let the train take the strain. I watched the towns and countryside roll by. It was all going too well. The stop at Sheffield Station was a long one. The minutes ticked by and there was no sign of movement. Platform staff who usually shepherded the trains away were curiously absent. Please don't tell me another strike is in progress... Then the tannoy bleeped into life to make a passenger announcement.
"If
I read this mornings local paper with a smirk. It appears that a local club (the Lava Lounge) hasn't got a music license so under british law it cannot provide music for its customers without incurring a large fine - and they already have to pay more than
I'm watching the news this morning and one of the featured stories is about knife crime. One more young man of 19 has been stabbed to death in London recently. The family have organised a protest march to demand action from politicians. The brother of the latest victim is interviewed in the studio. Now I've no doubt whatsoever that this family have suffered a grievous loss, yet there was something artificial about that interview. It's hard to put your finger on it. The modern media are very slic
Aww not again... The guy downstairs has fired up his expensive state-of-the-art hi-fi and the carpet is vibrating. At least he's not pushing the volume as high as he had. Trouble is, whilst I can't hear the music as such, the bass frequencies travel up through the floor and its literally going right through me. I don't feel like another confrontation, so I need something to take my mind off it.
Its not as if I can read a book.in these circumstances. Walking out the door and socialising is on
