Every week I attend a work club. You remember the film Full Monty? yep, that's us, a disparate group of individuals all sat for an afternoon plugging away despondently at our job search and ready for any high jinks to pass the time of day.
The chap who runs the club has obviously gotten bored of the shy silence that normally pervades our sessions. No-one seems keen to talk to each other, although last week we had a competition to find the stupidest vacancies online. I managed to find a chin
There's a house I used to pass on a regular basis going back some thirty years now. As a dwelling, it wasn't anything special, but the combination of grubby stonework and detailed windows gave it a subtle hint of individuality. What really made a difference was the garden, a forlorn and neglected patch of withered trees and abandoned fishponds. It had that 'secret garden' feel to it, a real patina, almost a sense of camouflaged seclusion.
Sadly the house has been bought by new owners. The ga
As always the weather has dominated my British sensibilities. Our ever changing climate has been a bit different to the one predicted by long range forecasts during the last year, which told us of 'barbeque summers and mild winters'. Ho ho ho.
The culprit has been a static zone of high pressure keeping the warm jetstream from reaching our shores. I think we forget that Britain is on the same latitude as Labrador, and only that jetstream, a high altitude wind from the Carribean, keeps Britain
Today I thought I would stretch my legs south of the motorway, something I haven't done in ages, and having realised how short of breath I was getting striding up the hill where I live, I could do with the exercise.
It's been a dull, claggy morning, just on the point of starting to rain but not quite getting there. It's also that uncomfortable temperature. Too cold for lightweight clothes, to sweaty for something warm. I hate that. Luckily my sweatshirt was the perfect compromise.
To my
An early start this morning was required. I'd even had a phone call from a claims advisor to warn me that I had to get out of bed this morning. There was no problem waking up. Punch & Judy saw to that as they left for work, making my alarm clock pretty well redundant too.
As for today, a murky start, but the skies brightened, and ye gods did the temperature drop. Not actually as cold as it gets in Britain, not even frosty, but the effect was accentuated by the relatively mild if somewhat
Can anyone be perfect? Some of us believe so, usually the type of person that wears a black polo neck sweater, a gold medallion, and earns millions by telling everyone else how they can be too. I wonder how we see ourselves? The obvious answer is to use a mirror or a photograph, but what I actually mean is our own perception of ourselves. Those lads in the street this last weekend no doubt regard themselves as good-for-a-laugh salt-of-the-earth characters. What? A bunch of drunken louts?
Hea
I can remember how it felt during the 1970's Munich Olympics. Is was as if the entire world had stopped and taken time out to show every single event. To some extent thats the case, because with limited tv channels and dire programming what else could compete with it?
These days there's hundreds of tv channels with all sorts of specialised programming that wouldn't even consider showing olympic footage. Is that a good thing? I'm actually starting to wonder. The media hype about events like t
Over the years I've met people on internet forums. We all say that. The truth is we haven't met them at all. They're just little icons and text messages from people far far away. How well can you know someone on a website? That's difficult to say. If there's one thing the internet allows, and indeed one of it's greatest dangers, is the anonymity of it. You can invent a persona and people do exactly that.
Time and again I hear stories of 'women' being unmasked as male teenagers (Good grief,
Todays the day. My first job interview in months. The alarm clock was set, something I've not had to bother with since last year, and to be honest, given the humidity during the night it wasn't required anyway.
It takes me a leisurely forty five minutes to stroll down the leisure centre. The weather is cloudy but that humidity is still there. Lord knows what it would have been like had the sun come out. There are indications of storm clouds sweeping across the West Country this morning. Apar
British weather is notorious. We have a long standing tradition of beginning conversations on that topic. Today will be no exception. Hurricane Bill (or what was left of it) certainly made an impression. It didn't rain throughout the week but we had some heavy showers and yet more amber triangles on our television screens every hour. Today is sunny and bright, a hazy vista of pale blue sky and silver edged cumulus on the horizon. It's also distinctly cold. Hang on, isn't this August? What happen
Rumours of tax rises are doing the rounds. Just what we needed. Now that food has become more expensive, petrol more expensive than ever, and energy prices attempting to land on the moon.
When Tony Blair got Labour into power with white grins and visions and promises of turning over a new leaf, what did we get? A Labour Party with a sneakier gameplan. Instead of taxing people in their wage packets, lets spread the taxes into new territory like pensions, insurance, and travel. When we complai
One of the great certainties of life on the dole is that you adopt a routine just as much as if you were working. Only you don't get a company car.
My routine is very simple these days. Some people will say I need to get a life, others that I don't know I have one. Some will say that I'm a Has-Been, others that I never have been. They're all wrong of course. But if you don't have money, then your richness of life must be found elsewhere.
I now find some of my richness of life at the loc
I dropped down to the library this morning... Whaddaya mean you thought I might?.... anyway, I turned up a little earlier than normal and although the foyer was open, the rest of the building was closed off with a folding door. The security guards religiously open this barrier three minutes after opening time, every day. This morning it seems even that task was too onerous. No guard was in sight.
Eventually a pair of librarirans bravely decided to open for business. They went into the small
Today I'm at our local sports center. I have to, because the main library is being visited by Her Royal Highness Princess Anne, and for security, us plebs are forbidden from accessing the premises. Personally, you have to wonder if she only wants to reserve the computers for a quick surf whilst she's in town.
Actually I don't have anything against her at all. I do notice that a certain Shirley Burnham, a pensioner campaigning to keep the Old Town library open, was planning to use the event t
Usually I pass through a supermarket checkout with little interaction. Do I have my own plastic bags? Do I have a nectar card? Twelve pounds sixty five please Sir. For the most part, these women are bored out of their tiny boxes and the quicker they can push you through the tills the better, or so it seems. It isn't always that bad. Sometimes I make a lame joke and they politely smile. You get the feeling they've heard me say that one a couple of times before.
Yesterday the woman on the till
The last twenty hours have been pretty much a treadmill of non-eventfull tedium. I hope you'll understand therefore if I delve into my stars for today in the hope that commercial journalism will reveal my future! If I have one, that is, I am unemployed in the midst of the worst recession since World War Two.
Unfortunately my daily horoscope merely tells me that my difficulties with technical details shouldn't stop me from pursuing my vision. That's an ethereal pep talk if ever I've heard one
Hilary Clinton has made a fashionably late visit to our shores and naturally the press conference followed. It's becoming a bit of a soap opera. Is it just me, or are political speeches becoming a bit commonplace? To some extent that's partly because of modern media coverage. With so many channels and air-time to fill, it seems politicians are rising to the challenge of opportunity. I guess that's politics. If you want to get ahead in that business you need people to hear you.
The subject m
My regular readers might remember that I made an attempt to become Mayor of Swindon. It was of course folly, a dream doomed to be broken, and as it turned out the local borough ignored my desperate plea for attention completely.
So I decided to take revenge. If I can't achieve social status and civic responsibility by the democratic process, then I'll fall back on that aspect of British civilisation that has sustained the British Empire for centuries. I am of course talking about the class s
There's only word for it - gutted. Miss T has decided that our friendly department store isn't for her and she's arranged to get work experience at another one. So it looks like I won't be flirted with for the time being. Funny how you only miss these little interactions when they vanish. Never mind. I'm sure she'll make up for lost time at our next session together.
You see, that's how to survive the dreary tedium of joblessness.... Get a blonde to flirt with you. Works for me.
Ousted
What a gloomy day. It just is. Waking up this morning after the christmnas season is a test of resolve to begin with without a grey, drab day to persuade you that sleeping in is a better idea.
News From The Drab Grey Town
Despite appearances to the contrary, a quick survey of the newspaper headlines reveals an armed robbery on a newsagent in Pinehurst. That area is one of the three 'P's of Swindon (Pinehurst, Penhill, and Park), our local sinkhole estates that taxi drivers refused to deliv
Sunrise, sunset, Sunday, Monday.... Yes, Swindon has reverted to ordinary greyness. There's a sort of comfortable familiarity about layers of dismal cloud drifting across the town and never letting it be one thing or another.
It's been a suprisingly quiet start to the year. I only heard the first police siren wailing past my home on saturday night. Even Punch & Judy, fresh back from annoying someone else on their christmas holiday, have been quiet and mindful of the fact that thanks to t
I've done it! I've made to the end of the week! Doesn't sound like a particularly brilliant achievement, but with my bedroom temperatures reduced almost to Ice Age conditions, I was starting to worry about becoming extinct. After all, the neanderthals, who were better adpated to the cold than we are, failed miserably to survive their frigid bedrooms at all.
Talking about them, there a new theory why they died off. I've always put it down to old age and poor sex education, but apparently my t
It can't have escaped anyones attention that Toyota are having some problems with their cars. The issues with accelerator and brake pedals have sparked deep concerns especially after the tragic crash in the US of a car whose brakes failed on the approach to a road junction.
Before I go on about car production and road safety, I can't help noticing that the driver whose brakes failed simply prayed he'd drive through unharmed. Clearly God was on his lunchbreak that day, but that said, God help
As Tuesdays go, this was not a good one.
Let's see... What happened today?
Erm... Not much...
Oh hang on - I did burst into song first thing this morning!
My Italian Tenor Moment
Just one more carton
Give it to me
Fantastic fashions
From Italy
I want - to look my best
So give me that carton
And bu-u-u-u-rn the rest
Proof of God
Yes - in the desolate wastes of the stockroom, isolated from human contact and with nothing but navel gazing to keep us from devolving into fis
Now and again you see some motorist doing something dumb. Commercial Road is one hazard area. It's a one way street and sure enough sooner or later someone doesn't spot the signs and proceeds against the flow of traffic totally bemused at the agression and 'lunacy' of other drivers.
Just lately it seems Regent Circus is becoming a hazard too. Not because of any chabges, it still remains a busy ring road like it has been for decades, but there's something peculiar. At the bottom of the hill
