I notice the control unit for Evil Robot was missing from the customer services desk at the museum. Well, although I've got better things to do than remove his restraining bolt, if he fires up I've got no way to bring him under control. Luckily this was the quiet shift so the risk to the general public was minimal. Personally I was more in danger of dropping dead from boredom.
We had a visit from none other than DW, our intrepid online journalist. It's always good to hear from him because y
I don't know if anyone's noticed, but it's Easter Weekend. Yes, the Annual Chocolate Fest is upon us again. I should know, there's been a party in the small yard behind the garage. Lights, loud music, and a steady stream of curious people wondering who's making all the noise now the pubs have closed. It started in the afternoon, and by the early hours of the morning, was still going strong. Amazing what an excess of chocolate will do to some people.
Public health advice - Please be aware tha
For the third day in a row, the weather is gloriously sunny. A little bit chilly first thing, but you'd expect that, and without doubt it's going to get somewhat warmer later this afternoon. Time then to enjoy a hike into the English countryside? I think so, especially after my last signing-on at the Job Centre. I could do with a break.
I suppose from time to time they get suspicious. They're used to people who claim for no other reason thatn to avoid doing anything else. Unfortunately, I do
Dogs are known as Mans Best Friend. I certainly do know what they mean. The companionship of a canine pet is astonishing. Such is the pack instinct of a dog that they assume the role of family member more often or not. But is a dog 'Womans Best Friend'?
Yesterday I waited at a main road before popping down to the music store to collect my guitar. Across the road from me a woman waited with her pet, a white and brown dog of some strange breed. It was a curious animal. It stood there with stum
It was one of those job interviews you just know is going to be a disaster before you start. The office where it took place is literally down the road from I live, an upstairs premises with only a single door on the street to mark its presence and a source of confusion as you wander back and forth expected something more impressive.
Having found the door (I always have trouble with doors - Douglas Adams fans please note) I noticed the gloomy staircase with a carpet left unwashed since the mi
Right then. The pavement is covered with undulating ice an inch thick. It's slippery, dangerous, and I'm fed up of risking my neck on it. So I retrieved my trusty spade from its burial place and got to work. I dug up a narrow path something like fifity to seventy yards long. Some pedestrians merely strode past me without a word, but three actually said thank you. I suspect an asian woman would have been number four but talking to strange caucasian shovel-wielders in the street isn't part of thei
A few years ago, a guy at work told me what the Polish were like to live with. He resided in a rented room, in a property shared with a number of Polish people. He told me of the attitude they were prone to, and the shenanigans they adopted if they didn't get their own way.
For my part, I took it with a pinch of salt. Perhaps my colleague was unlucky and his co-habitees were not the most genial sort of people to begin with. I didn't assume he was right about the behaviour of a nation.
No
"Why did you change your title to Lord?" Demanded my claims advisor. That came as no suprise to me. In fact, the only suprise is that it took a year to reach the point of confrontation over it. But then, I suppose it was only a matter of time.
One of the frustrating aspects of human behaviour is the need to establish status. Some people are motivated by it unconciously to an incredible degree. For instance, on a recent job application I signed the letter as 'Lord Caldrail' as I'm entitled to
Just a moment ago I was browsing the local newspapers local hiustory page. It's a regular feature in which we learn fascinating trivia about life in Swindon in times gone by. I was a little suprised by todays entry, concerning the result of bad behaviour in a late victorian school.
Some lads had misbehaved and received corporal punishment for their misdemeanours. The parents complained and the kids got thrown out, getting their revenge by pelting the headmaster with vegetables and threateni
I've just watched an advert on tv. Its sponsored by the government, and tells us that if we don't act now our world will become hotter with dire results to our comfortable lives. It ends with a a view of the world wrapped in a red hot atmosphere. Thats a chilling message isn't it? It is of course designed to frighten us out of our complacency. It is, without doubt, propaganda.
Our government is socialist and whilst it has politicans in the public eye who proclaim their wish to further the pr
Those lads have done a grand job painting the outside of the house. For me the best thing is that they've run out of Perry Como songs, but at least the paint looks fresh.
They did carefully lay out dayglo 'wet paint' tape everywhere to stop people getting paint all over their clothes, which sort of made the place look like a crime scene. And since it was necessary to leave the outer door open last night (to avoid the wet paint gluing the door and keeping me trapped inside) some wag decided t
The spirit of Christmas is not yet dead. I see that pensioners and beggars in Milan will get free hand-outs of caviar. Is it just me, or are the Italians doing better than Britain?
Calendar of the Week
Christmas is nearly upon us. The traditional season of thirty year old hit singles and toy adverts on tv. The same old festive movies are hitting our screens again. Well... now that I'm offically famous, I've decided to join the gravy train and announce the first official Caldrail merchandisi
It always happens when it snows. I get this uncontrollable urge to wander further afield. Okay, that doesn't make me Ranulph Caldrail, but trudging through snow is pretty tiring you know.
First stop of the day was at the park round the corner from where I live. You know, I was always taught that birds fly south for the winter, but not these hardy waterfowl, especially since they've cottoned on that we humans feel sorry for them and supply all their breadcrumb needs. All they have to do is sw
For some strange reason I woke bright and early this morning. For a reason probably easier to understand I wobbled dangerously as I overconfidently got out of bed. Oh well, start as you mean to continue.
As usual I made a brief glance out the window to check what sort of weather awaits me today. The horizon was buried under thick grey clag, a sort of dark fog, and at first sight it looked as if I was expecting a very damp morning.
By the time i was washed, dressed, and ready to take on t
Woolworths are closing. After nearly a century of trading on the High Street the grand old name is to vanish, unless someone pulls a rescue package together. London and Rochdale sites have already laid off staff, and it won't be long before the Swindon site does too. Somehow I doubt I'll get a job there anyway - I know of manager of old and she doesn't want me working there - but with hundreds of warehouse personnel on the market my job search isn't getting any easier.
Weather Report
Our fi
I live in a world that is increasingly surreal. I admit that. My horizons have shrunk enormously with the loss of transport and means to pay for it. That alone shouldn't be too significant because although I don't get out of the house much these days, I used to do so a great deal, thus I recall how it was to have a life.
Ahh, yes, those were the days! Pummelling peoples ears with a drum kit, flying aeroplanes, driving fast cars, and generally acting like every other young man with enough mon
Who remembers Newsround? It's a daily news program for kids that's been around since I was old enough to understand what a news program was. Back in those days the stalwart John Craven, now more usually associated with Countryfile, was the anchorman and roving reporter.
I met him once at a school near Bristol where some community thing was going on. The RAF had brought in a rescue helicopter to show off to visitors, and the Duke of Edinburgh was scheduled to visit that afternoon.
We spok
Some years ago I wrote a piece on another site condemning the European Union as a dictatorship in the making. Not necessarily because it is at the moment, so to speak, but because its construction lays the groundwork for those those wishing to rule without accountability.
I had said that Ireland would be forced to ratify the Treaty of Lisbon regardless of their previous vote - as the recent pressure on them demonstrates. There was also an interesting letter in the local paper this morning f
What can I say about last night? Without doubt, it was the worst nights sleep I've had in ages. Usually that would be because the local gorillas are out partying, or some resident of north swindon is trying to use my half-abandoned car to get a cheap ride home, or simply that the urban foxes living in the old college site are yelping their heads off. No, it was off course the stale air. It wasn't warm enough to be sweaty, just unpleasantly heavy. This morning is one of odd days. There's some thi
Sometimes I watch tv. No really. I don't often indulge (other than Top Gear, BBC News, and the odd Star Trek episode - Boy do I live fast and dangerous) but last night, no-one could stop me. Anyhow, it was quite late when I pointed the remote at a black box and to my suprise, the normally innocuous channel was showing a sex program. Sex? On british tv? Thats a suprise....
The american program revolved around a holiday resort for sado-masochistic women. It was styled after a british stately h
According to the news, there's a record number of people being given counselling to make them give up being gay and go straight.
You know, I can't help feeling all this gay stuff is just ridiculous. To be fair, I don't know a lot about it (don't want to, it sounds a bit undesirable to my traditionalist view) but having been on the receiving end of ignorant opinion depicting me as one of their number, I do have some sympathy for those that choose that lifestyle.
Thats the trick isn't it?
The guy in the music store has known me for many years. He's a nice chap, as far as it a shopkeeper can be. I guess I've spent a fair few quid buying instruments, drumsticks, strings, and several guitars in that period. He is of course, a businessman first, and kept a poker face as I manhandled my ailing keyboard through his doors.
Yes, another technological toy has bit the dust. My long suffering Yamaha keyboard, which must be nearly a quarter century old, a veteran that saw action on the f
My semi-supervisor, J (he 's in charge of us unemployed placements on site, even though he's an ordinary rankless pleb himself) told me this morning that we were going to have another new starter today, in order to help with the buildup toward the Big Stocktake in a couple of weeks time. That doesn't bode well. The only three I know without placements were refused access to the last premises they turned up at. Oh boy...
Later J passed by and explained tghe new boy wouldn't be starting today
One of the advantages of digital broadcasts in the media is that you can watch television on your computer. I was doing that long before Windows 7 came out, so I'm afraid the young lady claiming on the advert that she thought of watching television on her PC and Windows 7 was her idea is talking out of her script.
As I'm sure you're aware, staring vacantly at the screen while you rapidly page through the available channels is typical human behaviour. In a state of mental numbness I strayed
Hunger knows no bounds. With the cash I had left I couldn't resist steak & cheese burrito on my way home. Yes, I know, my finances are now forever ruined, but the delights of takeaway food were too much to ignore. So I ordered my early evening meal and waited for the chap behind the counter to stop mashing the ingredients.
To my left the approach of a pair of lads was becoming obvious. Sometimes you just know a stranger is about to accost you, and the burlier of the two ambled slowly tow
