"Why did you change your title to Lord?" Demanded my claims advisor. That came as no suprise to me. In fact, the only suprise is that it took a year to reach the point of confrontation over it. But then, I suppose it was only a matter of time.
One of the frustrating aspects of human behaviour is the need to establish status. Some people are motivated by it unconciously to an incredible degree. For instance, on a recent job application I signed the letter as 'Lord Caldrail' as I'm entitled to
Today was my job interview. I'd like to say it was yet another one, but I don't get much response from employers these days. So I'll confess and tell you this was my second job interview this year. Maybe the economy is picking up after all.
Normally I'd relate a few witty anecdotes about todays litle expedition to some far flung part of Swindon. Unfortunately it was one of the dullest experiences I've had in the workplace ever, not to mention a long walk away. It was an odd experience passin
Eat your greens. I wonder how many kids these days get that traditional command? Sometimes I wonder if the whole point of the old Popeye cartoons was not to entertain, but to sell truckloads of unwanted spinach. Of course Popeye was violent so like Tom & Jerry, it doesn't get shown on television these days. Without the mighty forearms of Popeye to inspire kids to engage each other in fistfights, these days the kids resort to knives anf firearms in a playground arms race.
Our boss at the
Of late the news in Britain has focused on the market town of Wootton Basset, just a few miles down the road from I live, which has the burden of being the nearest habitation to Lyneham Airbase. That's where our fallen soldiers are returning to home shores from foreign entanglements like Afghanistan. So with the recent jingoism to whip up public support for the campaign the town is regularly featured as lining up to watch funeral corteges crawling past. The place has become synonymous with obser
Those of you who know England will also know that somtimes, just sometimes, the rain goes away to ome back another day, leaving us with a few days of glorious weather. Like today, a warm balmy day, and with all my chores done it was time to seek a quiet corner of the local park and relax in quiet solitude, away from the noisy daytime activity of my home town.
It isn't all that quiet if I were honest. An ocaisional gravelly rasp of a light aeroplane overhead, the distant subdued roar of a tra
Britain was never intended to be this warm. Could someone do something about that please? Or does that mean I have to pay more tax?
My Big Mistake Of The Week
I made a huge mistake. I admit it. Sometimes it happens. There it was on the television schedules - Doctor Who Live.
pardon? My curisosity was aroused. I don't paricularly care for the childish and hyped up modern Doctor Who (it's just Harry Potter with a sonic screwdriver instead of a wand, a tardis rather than a Nimbus 2000) and
From time to time I hear little snippets of wisdom such as "You can't teach an old dog new tricks". They sound clever at first, but I wonder if these phrases aren't repeated merely to sound clever, to conceal a lack of any real insight into the world. After all, an old dog is perfectly capable of learning new tricks, it's just that he's experienced enough to know he's being asked to perform for nothing. A case of "Lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink"? Just give him some maths home
"Hey mate!" Hissed a builder as I strolled by the old college car park that is now being fenced off in preparation for Demolition Day. "Can I borrow yer barbells?"
Pardon me? Either that young man has discovered that erecting the ramparts around the site is physicaslly demanding and urgently requires a body building regime, or I've just been propositioned by a gay builder. Walk on, Caldrail, walk on...
I mean, what on earth was that youngster thinking? Does he really believe I carry larg
Swindon is renowned for it's dreary wet weather and today our unusual run of sunny mornings turned into a damp squib of a day. It's hard to describe how the mood in our rainy old borough changes when it gets wet because basically it doesn't. People are the same, apart from being possibly a little less drunk. So let me take you by the hand and lead you through the aisles upstairs, and I'll tell you something that will finally make up your mind...
Highlights of the Day
1 - Caldrail singing "M
If you've wondered why I don't say much about fun things at work, its because work isn't fun right now. AD, the guy I've been trained to replace, has decided not to retire after all. Orders are small and right now I spend about ten minutes every morning labelling goods for transport. Job done. I know there are people who would give their right arm for a laid back existence like that, but isn't an inactive workplace the worst possible place to be stuck in? The clocks move backward, everyone else
Tried to log on to the PC at my local library this morning. Apparently my domain did not exist and therefore I'm a non-entity the computer network doesn't recognise. Hey, I know I'm unemployed but this is a public facility right?
The man at the desk assured me it was merely my login card that had expired. He tapped a few keys, smiled, and sent me on my way.
Right then, log on... wait.... Oh joy, I'm still a non-entity.
So having gone back to the man at the desk I discover there's no
As I sat down to type this entry, I was distracted by the sound of rain against the window. A heavy downpour from a grey sky. Yet earlier this morning it was such a fine morning. Chilly, for sure, but you'd expect that with open skies at this time of year and it was a noticeably colder night before.
Almost as soon as it arrived the squall subsides, leaving only overflowing gutters to drip water in long thin streams. In a whie it might be safe to go outdoors again.
During the sunshine thi
The wind is blowing. The rain is falling. What a horrible morning!
Solo Music
A couple of nights ago the BBC had a bit of a Robert Plant fest. Concentrating mostly on his solo career after Led Zeppelin, it was a curious tale of musical experiment including a hilarious commercial phase in the eighties. I've had some respect for his efforts in the past - Slow Dancer from the album Pictures At Eleven has always been a personal favourite among many - but I wasn't aware of the variety of music h
Heve you ever noticed how persitently the civil service agencies tell us how great their customer serrvice is? They hang posters on every wall, print colourful pamphlets, and assure us that everyone is equal and important to the world. The truth, as I've discovered, is that human beings fall well short of government guidelines. Not just the politicians, but those bureaucrats who work on their behalf.
I had a drubbing in public from Bovine Betty more than a year ago. I remember her deliberate
All weekend the library computers weren't working properly. What a disaster. it seems the whole community is utterly dependent on the facility and hordes of disappointed library-goers left the building despondently for two days, including me, aklthough in fairness I was a bit angrier than most.
When the problem emerged on the saturday morning, it was my least favourite librarian on duty. He makes a big show of trying to be helpful, but when you actually ask him for help, the answer is always
In the news lately is the revelation that employment law is to be changed to make it easier for bosses to fire their workers, the idea being to reduce costs of tribunals, mediation, and trade union intervention.
That's all very well, but if my experience is anything to go by, bosses are already well capable of getting workers they don't want out the door with little difficulty. I've seen employers resort to chicanery and dubious excuses succesfully for some years. Those talents aren't going
Last week at the programme centre a chap asked me to help him with his jobsearch. His concernwas that the job centre was getting a little impatient with him. My concern was that he was asking me to do his applications for him.
You see, I don't mind helping people. it's just that I prefer to help people who try to help themselves. If he'd actually shown any willingness to pull his weight, I would have backed him to the hilt. As it happens, he had no intention of doing anything at all. Noneth
Hello World, my old friend, I've come to talk to you again.
I write this not from the Library (who stubbornly refuse to open despite everybody else trying to restore some normailty to their lives) but a pokey little internet cafe which I might have to frequent more often. But it means I can say hello to the survivors of our post apocalyptic world, assuming I'm not being over optimistic.
A Floating Map
A visit some while ago to my local park was a peaceful scene. Nobody about at a
At this time of year the weather can vary a lot here in the rainforests of Darkest Wiltshire. Today the morning began with chilly fog - it's lifting already as I speak - and yesterday we had bright sunshine which left me sweating despite the cool air. Taking a stroll around Coate Water I was struck by how Meditteranean the water was, a nice shade of blue, enlivened by silvery reflections off the ripples caused by the waterfowl on the water and the dog chasing them away from the bank. Usually the
What can I say about last night? Without doubt, it was the worst nights sleep I've had in ages. Usually that would be because the local gorillas are out partying, or some resident of north swindon is trying to use my half-abandoned car to get a cheap ride home, or simply that the urban foxes living in the old college site are yelping their heads off. No, it was off course the stale air. It wasn't warm enough to be sweaty, just unpleasantly heavy. This morning is one of odd days. There's some thi
One of my daily rituals is to open my mail box and browse the contents the postman deposited there this morning. Sometimes there's nothing new there of course, I'm not that popular. With all my job searching I get a lot of letters from employers, typically telling me the shortlist is complete and I'm not on it. So be it. With every bundle of interesting, useful, or expecnsive communications from the outside world comes junk mail. Offers of products and services are largely wasted on me I have to
Our local newsletter revealed that the old college site is to be demolished. Sounds familiar. Could I sworn I heard that soewhere before. It seems the impending destruction of Swindon's favourite ruin is too good a news story to forget.
You would think that everyone would be talking about it. At the library yesterday morning all I heard was a request for maps and the constant moaning from someone who couldn't cope with the intricacies of the computer booking system. I know where you're comi
I had thought that today I would venture out into the wilderness yet again, pack on back, braving life and limb in the Rainforests of Darkest Wiltshire. If you intend a journey out of doors it's always wise to consult the weather reports and make an informed decision on whether the trip is worth the trouble. I know that sounds extrene - it is only the grassy downlands of North Wiltshire and that's fairly local to where I live - but all the same it's suprising how harsh conditions can get up ther
These days my flying is limited to to the computer. But I still dream, and I hope you enjoy my artwork based on screenshots of my particular hobby.
Exuberance
I was sat at a computer the other day, browsing flight simulator forums and enjoying some banter about the Second World War, when I heard the light aeroplane flying around outside. That isn't unusual over Swindon. For some reason the town is on a north-south route for private flyers much to the chagrin of the controllers at Lyneham Ai
Yep, its AM. He's sat two cubicles away from me in the library as I write this and whinging away like nothing else.
Mutter mutter.. groan... can't send my emails... stupid computer.... why won't this work.... oh no.... not again.... mutter mutter....
Funny thing is, some unemployed guy, older than me and obviously unacquainted with personal computing, was getting help making a job application via the internet. AM looked over his shoulder irritably A - because they were disturbing his wh
