Now that I've been put on fortnightly signing again I have to fill in a form declaring what I've done to find work. The first question asks whether I've completed the criteria of my Jobseekers Agreement. This means all those weekly activities that the Department of Work and Pensions insist on even if they won't improve my employment chances one iota.
If I were to check the 'NO' box, I would have to fill in a series of searching and embarrasing questions, not to mention concoct some inventive
Life is never safe, is it? You can add burglar alarms, smoke alarms, five star crash ratings on your car, health and safety procedures, licensing, all manner of safeguards, and you still get mown down by a runaway hay bale.
Soldiers say that sometimes you a bullet has your name on it. I can't help laughing as remember Blackadder's faithful flunky Baldrick carving his name on one of his bullets so he'd never get hit by it. Quite how you'd carve your name on a hay bale to avoid it hitting you
My hatred of football is no secret. It's one thing to have a bit of fun kicking a ball around, quite another paying an unhealthy ticket price to enter a screaming contest while a bunch of fashion dummies demonstrate the latest must-have sports wear. Later you'll enter a screaming contest with your kids who demand those fashions to emulate their sporting heroes.
It's all just marketing now, isn't it? People seem to worry more about what haircut these people have than the actual score. In the
Changes are afoot. Lorries bearing scaffolding have swarmed into Swindon town centre and erected makeshift frameworks here, there, and everywhere. There's one across the street from me that looks like a roof repair following our recent strong winds. The old cinema at the bottom of the hill, the one that spent its declining years as a bingo hall, and spent the last decade under offer, has now been propped up with miles of metal tubes.
Not only that, but the two metal posts inserted in the pav
Everything seemed a bit grey this morning. Our first foggy morning in ages. Now that I've signed on at the dole office and wanderd up to the library to see to my jobsearching, the sun has broken out again. Maybe that's not quite world breaking news. Can I do better?
Institute Is Falling Down
Our beloved Mechanics Institute, a sort of all-purpose community centre built by the Great Western Railway in 1854, is in danger of collapse. The cellars are flooded. The roof is on the point of caving
Todays entry is not going to be an epic literary adventure of colossal importance. I'm not feeling well. I have a bug. Not one of those creepy crawly things, though I have evicted a few over the last couple of weeks, but a virus type of bug, a malicious little bacterial psychopath that has reduced me to a coughing, spluttering, dull eyed and slack jawed health problem.
It's like being drunk without the fun bits. Also I suspect I won't be waking up with a traffic cone in my bed.
This Week
As if invasions of jellyfish weren't enough. Last night I caught a program on television where some ex-special forces guy zips into chainmail to film vicious gangs of humboldt squid.
Apparently these horrible little monsters are spreading like wildfire because they can. We haven't helped of course. I mean, we're always to blame, aren't we? Apparently our fishing habits have caught all the predators that eat squid, so now the little horrors don't have any competitors.
They are actually re
A lovely sunny morning. It really is. Mind you, despite the sunshine, when I left the house earlier today it was very chilly, clouds of breath marking my progress, and if it hadn't been for my steady pace, I would have felt the cold very quickly.
Today was upposed to be the day I started my forklifting course. Some people people might not appreciate how momentous this opportunity is. I sepent nearly two decades in warehousing and no-one would train me on forklifts. That's what you get for dr
Today is Bank Holiday Monday. I can tell that because everyone is wandering about aimlessly. Small kids weave about main roads on bicycles shouting insults at drivers and pedestrians to prove their stature among their tribe. Ethnic inhabitants lean against the walls outside small shops with strange names, and a few of them hurl insults at passers-by, just for something to do.
I wandered around the old British Rail Social Club grounds this morning, just for something to do. It's fast disappe
How much do you take for granted? It's an interesting question. We all bcome comfortable with our daily routines certainly, but the extent to which we assume we understand our world is astonishing. Let me explain.
Fifty years ago a British astronomer said that spaceflight was impossible. A hundred years before that, powered flight was impossible, or that travelling more than thirty miles an hour would kill you. A few centuries earlier, we all knew the Earth was the centre of the universe and
Across the country, six million cars are parking themselves in traffic jams on their way to somewhere more expensive than usual. Yes, it's another Bank Holiday Weekend. For those of you who don't understand British culture, it's our way of imitating lemmings.
Traditionally the weather always rains on holiday weekends. It's as if the sum effect of all those car exhausts isn't carbon dioxide at all, but water, as the rainclouds make our intended holidays as miserable as possible - unless you h
Oh hello, what's this? A new television channel? That heralds another quest to reprogram my litle black box and reveal the latest source of boredom dellivered in high definition digital bliss. We often say how odd it is that with hundreds of new channels to watch, there's hundreds less to be interested in.
As to what channel is now included in my daily browsing session, I can't say, because I haven't found it yet. I did stumble on that dating channel again. Shall I? Shan't I? Oh go on then.
Once again I trudge despondently into my local Job Centre. The security guard spotted me crossing the foyer and asked "You know your way, Sir?"
Funnily enough, I do. The office catacombs upstairs are well explored by veteran jobseekers like me. I nodded, and he went back to sleep. Once there I was prevented from going to sleep myself by a crafty claims advisor, whose machiavellian tactic was to wear a flourescent yellow jumper. I don't know if such apparel is legal in Job Centres, but at lea
You would never know it was August. It's as dull and chilly as late Autumn. Not only that, with our recent strong winds, some trees are convinced that Summer is over and are shedding brown leaves everywhere. You feel like shouting "No! Stop it!" but you just know the trees aren't going to listen to some gesticulating and noisy ape descendant.
'C' That?
Remember the Sinclair C5? Those of you who can't, it was a sort of sports model mobility buggy. available in any colour as long as it's whit
My trainers are damp. There's a sort of cold wet feel to them. Yes, you're right, I got soaked. Yesterday I ventured out to find a certain seminar venue and with the weather looking like drizzly showers, I decided it might be wise to take a baseball cap with me. Oh, yes, and a rain resistance jacket. You never know. These survival items really should be made compulsory for everyone risking their lives in exploring the rainforests of Darkest Wiltshire.
It started drizzling not long after I se
Yesterday began with a bright sunny day. Don' t you just feel a lift when that happens? A bright new day, just waiting to be enjoyed. I set out that morning in a good mod. Especially useful since the Job Centre had sent me on one of those "How to find a job" courses.
Strolling into town the familiar sound of an RAF Hercules transport droned overhead. I've watched those aeroplanes flying over Swindon on their way into Lyneham airbase for forty years or so. It felt a bit poignant, because soon
I sat down at the computer yesterday with good intentions. I had this to do, I had that to get on with. Sadly my headache had other ideas. As much as I wanted to be productive, that nasty litle pain in my head wouldn't let me concentrate. I almost wrote that headaches are a pain in the butt. Maybe I won't do that.
This was of course the library, which means there's always other people there, and these days the public have no idea what a library is. The plump lady on my right was moaning abou
What a lovely morning this is. Was, I should say. Earlier today I strolled through Swindon and the weather was sunny, just a hazy wall of cloud on the horizon, or mybe a few small globular clouds trying to creep across England without being noticed. The high altitude cloud is now changing the blue sky to a dull white, and grey ragged clouds are advancing on my position. Another rainy day to come? Like yesterday?
Yesterday was one of those 'love it or loathe it but you can't beat it' kind of
I like science fiction. Except the sort you get in modern cars that is. I enjoy the exploration of worlds and ideas that make the genre function. Some people criticise sci-fi as lacking the insights and qualities of the fiction they prefer. In fact I've done so sometimes as well. My criticisms of the new Doctior Who for instance, which has turned a quirky and cheap sci-fi show into a childrens fairy tale.
Talking of science fiction fairy tales, I see George Lucas has abandoned plans for a te
Years ago the music business seemed like some magical lottery. I suppose in a way it was, though in fairness it's also a ruthless business as any other and even after decades of popular music, we still see the same headlines in the tabloids about the disillusionment and disaster of becoming famous. As if that ever put anyone off. I made my own stab at at it, and Red Jasper's guitar player is still out there twenty years on, trying to become the next guitar hero. That's free publicity there, Robi
With hundreds of thousands of years experience to fall back on, you would think that human beings would have learned by now. If you live near a river, you risk a flood. The problem of course is that river valleys and flood plains are usually the productive land going, so we take the risk, and in the years we don't get a problem, we soon forget about the risk.
Nonetheless, the recent floods in China and Pakistan must be tough to deal with. I can count myself as lucky in that respect. Floods i
I used to see urban foxes from my back window on a regular basis. More often than that, I would hear their yelps and screeches in the dead of night. It's been a while since that noise has pierced the stillness of Old Town's quiet hour. Had pest controllers reduced their numbers? It seemed as if the only interruption to my slumber was going to be inept car thieves from now on.
Last night a vivid sunset appeared through my back window. I went off to get the camera, opened the window, and took
As a rule ladders have never caused me a great deal of hassle. Traditionally I have much more of a problem with doors, which always seem to open in some other way than appears intuitively obvious. As I mentioned in yesterdays entry, there was one time when the ladder fought back.
Back in the days when I first turned professional as a drummer, I needed to supplement my non-existent income from record royalties, and running light shows for my a friend of mine, the quiet and ever-optimistic FR
For some time now the weather has been dry but cloudy. Sometimes the breeze has been a refreshing change, on other days a dull humidity has made the day uncomfortable to some small degree. So far we haven't had any sign of the blazing summer our global warmers have predicted.
The library has been unbearably stale, air conditioning or not. After a quick visit yesterday lunchtime, I'd had enough of it, and went home via the alleyway behind the Old College site. I'll miss the unkempt foliage w
You see them here and there. Gaps in the tarmac containing shallow gravel bottomed puddles. Potholes like that are everywhere in Britain as a result of reduced spending on maintenance and some harsh weather. Here in Swindon though we have another type of road cavity. I saw another one opening in the exit road from the old college car park. A round hole, about three inches across, and you can see a hollowed out cavity underneath. I have this mental image of the new shopping arcade disappearing do
