Right. Chores completed, job clubs attended, shopping done. Time for me to head home and do the usual 'feet up' routine. I might be unemployed, but I need to stay in practice for when someone figures out how to get Britain out of the recession. Whichever one it is we're currently suffering from.
As usual there were crowds of unemployed immigrants standing on street corners just about everywhere. At least I think they were unemployed. No matter. I have seat to fill at home. So with a quick gl
Once again the weathermen have triumphed. The storms have crossed the west country overnight and left us with a wet and rainy day. In fact this rain is a bit unseasonal, but at least it wasn't a hurricane.
By chance I was watching CBS news last night. I wouldn't normally bother because for some reason I can't fathom, american news channels are almost unfathomable. Not this time. The arrival of Hurricane Irene was causing worry for everyone living on the east coast and it seems weather of tha
Yesterday I was called upon to attend another internet session at the programme centre. Nothing unusual there except of late I've had to sit and wait before they open the room. I mean, don't they know I'm Lord Caldrail and must not be delayed? Apparently not. I had to send them a letter reminding them that I wasn't plain old Mister Caldrail anymore. People do struggle to remember that I notice, unless they intend making light of it like those two single mums I passed in the street.
Yes, ladi
Anyone expecting something about Led Zeppelin is going to be sorely disappointed. Today I took a stroll across some farmland not to far from where I live. In the not too distant future these fields will be gone, replaced by modern brick shoeboxes we call houses, all packed densely together around a maze of curving streets that defies anyones sense of direction.
I'd already had a good view of Wichelstok, the latest addition to Swindons housing needs, built in the Ray Valley between Swindon a
Swindon is suspiciously white this morning. Even winter-safe wiltshire has finally succumbed to snow. It started last night and quickly reduced wiltshire to the usual scene of british ineptitude of dealing with slippery conditions. I watched a van attempting to ascend the steep side street behind my home. Even with a guy shovelling ice from under the wheels they made painfully slow progress toward the company yard.
For me it means another struggle with my sense of balance as the partially cl
So far this year I 've been no further up on the Marlborough Downs than Barbury Castle. Once the fog had lifted, I decided it was time. The call of the Downs is peculiar to those who know it. There's a strange sense of timelessness up there. At first glance it's nothing more than rolling hills, weatherbeaten stands of trees, and farmland, but then the isolation of the area gets you. I'm not the only one who finds the solitude of the Downs so engaging. There's a memorial stone to a hillwalker of
In one of the science magazines lately they devoted an issue to Time. What is it? How much does it cost? What could you do with it if you could afford it? It's a remarkable thing that we experience one moment after another but that causes us to assume we know what time is. So helpless are scientists to explain exactly what Time is that instead of turning to Professor Cox, they're asking philosophers to explain it. Proof therefore that Time is an illusion.
Unfortunately for everyone knowing t
We interrupt your normal reading to bring you the latest story, hot off the press. The Independent Peanut Republic of Rushey Platt has announced that they have annexed the state of South Carolina. Rushey Platt apologises to the USA for the incovenience, and assures citizens of their new dominion that they will not be required to fill in british tax returns. That concludes this newsflash, we'll bring you updates on this story as it happens. Over to our on-the-spot reporter, Sally Forth. Whats hap
Something unusual made the headlines in the local paper recently. It seems our new library has given state-of-the-art facilities. 'Green' toilets - as if that means anything to me. Now I don't usually spend much time in public toilets (although I understand that is one way to get your name in the news - thanks for the tip George) and I haven't seen these new facilities. However, just like the previous locations, the locals have been creative in using them and so the after a few weeks the toilets
Iraq has been returned to sanity. Libya has been returned to sanity. Egypt, Tunisia, and Yemen are undergoing counselling. Afghanistan was always a pretty insane place to begin with and so far has proven difficult to pacify. Now President Assad of Syria has spotted the trend and warns the west that intervention will cause an earthquake that will burn the whole region.
Now apart from his complete ignorance of geology, this does sound like the usual arabic vitriol. "Rivers of blood" is another
I was watching one of those cop programs last night. The usual sort of thing, car chases across america with exciting heavy metal music and a breathless commentary. There was one that stood out. It started as they all did, with a suspect making a break for it and piling down the highway without regard to safety. At one point he swerves to avoid an obstacle, and at over a hundred miles an hour, very nearly loses it completely. Thing is though, what I notice with all these chases is that the suspe
The last week has been a miserable procession of rainy days. Not those romantic downpours so beloved of Tina Turner, its those claggy dull grey squalls that we British like to call weather. But now I think about it, what happened to August? We hardly had any sunshine at all, and the indian summer we sometimes get in September looks like being a washout.
Its hardly Global Warming is it? But then it occurs to me that since we get most of our weather second-hand from America, and that they get
Its all gone very quiet. Now the main library is hut while they move premises, I walk down to the sports centre and use their facilities. Strangely, it all seems very empty. The creche isn't huddled in a group by the window chanting nursery ryhmnes tunelessly. Kids aren't re-enacting the Battle of Britain.
I know whats wrong. Its AM. Its been so long since I've seen him have a good whinge or stop the world because he can't send his emails. Good grief - don't tell me he's actually done what
I sat down last night to write up my thoughts for the day as I usually do. Most of it concerned the days odyssey into the wilds of Darkest Wiltshire, walking the hills and dales of the Marlborough Downs, documenting the variable weather and its obvious effect upon me. Truth is, what happened yesterday was something more important than a mere journal of yet another hike along familiar paths.
Instead, it was two encounters with wild animals that made all the difference. Usually such meet
Its the turn of the french to hold the presidency of the EU right now. What are they suggesting? They want each member state to stump up 10,000 men, plus tanks, planes, and ships, for a european defence force. This is interesting because a european defence force was part of the Treaty of Lisbon, which the french people didn't want, nor did the dutch, and neither - somewhat more pointedly - did the irish. But it seems we're going to get a Treaty of Lisbon even if we didn't want one at all - Which
What does a photograph mean? On the face of it, probably not much, as it is after all a static recording of light received by a chemical or electronic process at that given moment. Sometimes it can convey information, or perhaps preserve a happy memory. You could say a photograph has whatever significance you place upon it.
Some people have a gift for photography. They manage to capture more than a smple recording of light. They capture movement, frozen for that instant, or a scene that invo
Our local newsletter revealed that the old college site is to be demolished. Sounds familiar. Could I sworn I heard that soewhere before. It seems the impending destruction of Swindon's favourite ruin is too good a news story to forget.
You would think that everyone would be talking about it. At the library yesterday morning all I heard was a request for maps and the constant moaning from someone who couldn't cope with the intricacies of the computer booking system. I know where you're comi
Earlier today I saw a young woman ambling from shop to shop, dressed in her chosen summer wear, totally at a loss to comprehend why it wasn't baking hot under a blue sky. It was as if rainfall was an alien experience to her. So either she's a seductress from another planet sent here to spawn a new super-race with us lowly earth-beings, or she's suffering the same limited memory span that most of us do. Yes, dear, sometimes it rains. Even in Swindon.
As it happens I think the rain is long ove
Looks like this could be a quiet day. Not sure why exactly, though the lack of noise appears to confirm my hypothesis. Only a solitary ring tone interrupted our silent vigil at the library this morning. Everyone turned and looked over their shoulder.
Normally you get a ceratin proportion of people who ignore protocol and good manners in a desperate urge to tell someone else loudly where they happen to be right now. Not today. The embarrased owner of the mobile phone didn't even attempt to w
"This next one is going to be brutal" Said the DJ on the radio last night. He did sound like he needed trauma therapy for Post Thrash Metal Syndrome. "So you might want a bag. Don't put it on your head though, that's dangerous".
Consumer advice at this time of night? Okay mate, no bag on head. Got it. Then the next track started, or at least I think it was music, it was sort of hard to tell. I seem to remember Young L at the museum trying to impress me with a downloaded mp3 from the band Car
What on earth is happening at the library? The day care centre children are quiet, well behaved, not singing tunelessly nor pretending to be aeroplanes. Everyone else is quiet too. AM hasn't whinged all morning. Everyone else is staring slack jawed at their emails.
Well I'm not going to be so stationery. I've recently begun to jog. You know, that keep fit nonsense, although I should point out I jog outside the library, not in. Well I had to really, I'm getting a little tubby and being this a
wiir wiir wiiir wiiiirrrrrrriiiiiirrrrrr
One of the hassles of living near to a garage is the sound of mechanics working. Normally things are fairly quiet and I don't notice their activities too much, but this morning is was out with the power tools and they got to work on somebodies car with a vengeance.
wiir wiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrr wiiir wiiir
As it happens I'd decided somewhat foolishly to enjoy a lay in. I mean, it was a cold moring and I'd been up late last night. So every time I
At first glance you would think this was a summers day, The sky is blue, the sun is shining. It just doesn't feel warm though. There's an uncomfortable chill in the air which is quite unseasonal. Of course this good weather only arrived earlier, as I notice the ground was damp from overnight rain.
There are of course other things putting a damper on todays fine weather. You might describe it as doom and gloom, at least potentially. Firstly there's an increase in energy bills coming our way a
Cue upbeat theme music and close ups of scantily clad women between clips of Caldrail goofing
Hi there, and welcome to Eye on Rushey Platt. I'm your host Caldrail. In todays entry -
Did Miss L do that to her hair on purpose?
Why has AM been banned from his favourite library PC?
Does DS know I've heard her mocking me as she walks past my home on Friday night?
Is there any truth to the rumour that SB is about to get his revenge?
But first, a shocking new development down th
My usual Monday ritual begins at the Job Centre. Walk in, pass by the swarm of security guards as they appraise me for terrorist capability, and ascend the steps to my assigned floor where I sit and wait for an interview... And wait... This appears to be the latest wheeze designed to catch me out. No searching the database for vacancies, just sign and go after a long wait. Presumably this will lull me in to a false sense of laziness.
"Sorry to keep you waiting." The gentleman said as he led
