Here, deep in the rainforests of Darkest Wiltshire, the evenings are a time when the animals of the forest gather for their nightly mating rituals, challenging rivals, announcing themselves to all the other animals as big, hairy, and completely sozzled, and so for a few hours the cacophany continues.
Later, when most of the animals ave either found a mate, a hospital bed, or a ride in a police van, there's an occaisional outburst from young male apes, hooting loudly to proclaim the success o
Another one of those articles on how to be successful at dating the opposite sex has appeared on the boards. It makes interesting reading but clearly anyone following the advice is going to struggle. Let me explain...
A connection
A man can tick all the boxes in the world, but in so many cases if the woman feels no chemistry, it
A newsletter pushed through my letterbox? That wouldn't be unusual given how keen some local politicians are in making themselves sound useful to the community, but no, this has nothing to do with community politics. The neighbourhood has decided to conduct an archaeological dig behind a nearby street, hoping to find evidence of a long lost alleyway believed to lie beneath weeds, trees, and an extraordinary collection of household waste.
It is fascinating how that alleyway has changed. Back
You can't have a museum without exhibits. Every so often we find new ones. Or should that be old ones? Anyway, our boss came across some stuff being thrown away at Portsmouth and couldn't resist an ancient computer. You should see it. Straight out of a 70's Doctor Who episode.
It turns out our new exhibit is a bog standard Bloodhound missile control box, or in civilian guise, a nuclear reactor control box. I'm not joking. Some power stations are still using these things to this day. Our boss
Once again the weathermen have triumphed. The storms have crossed the west country overnight and left us with a wet and rainy day. In fact this rain is a bit unseasonal, but at least it wasn't a hurricane.
By chance I was watching CBS news last night. I wouldn't normally bother because for some reason I can't fathom, american news channels are almost unfathomable. Not this time. The arrival of Hurricane Irene was causing worry for everyone living on the east coast and it seems weather of tha
You don't have to look very hard to find stately homes in englands green and pleasant land. So prevalent was the landscaped parkland of the 18th century that people believe english countryside is supposed to look like that. Therefore to get our cultural fix, we english people sometime visit these stately homes and their pastoral surroundings.
I've been dragged around a fair few stately homes as a child. They all seemed to be the same. Pastel labyrinths of grandiose furniture and anonymous po
Even as late as last night the weather map on television was not encouraging. Great swathes of bright blue covered southern england and that means rain. Wet weather is a fact of life in Britain. British tradition is to start conversations with strangers about the weather. Our country is famous for getting wet. I'm not quite that famous, but I do get wet now and then myself.
The promised downpoor has already passed us by. It's still damp and grey out there, but most people are plodding around
Here we go then, monday morning. By the time I've posted this most people have alreadty had the bad news from their boss or failed utterly to get to work thanks to illness, car reliability, road maintenance, idiot drivers, or simply a desire to avoid monday morning at all. I'm not one for pulling 'sickies' but I know some people do. There used to be a guy at work who always seemed to phone in sick every friday. His boss realised quickly he was getting drunk on thursday evening with a paypacket i
At first glance you would think this was a summers day, The sky is blue, the sun is shining. It just doesn't feel warm though. There's an uncomfortable chill in the air which is quite unseasonal. Of course this good weather only arrived earlier, as I notice the ground was damp from overnight rain.
There are of course other things putting a damper on todays fine weather. You might describe it as doom and gloom, at least potentially. Firstly there's an increase in energy bills coming our way a
There's a lot of nuclear weapons out there. That probably won't suprise anyone, but so far, according to a documentary I saw last night, there are at least 23,000 warheads out there and probably more unaccounted for. America, Russia, Britain, France, Israel, China, India, Pakistan, and North Korea are countries known to have them. South Africa briefly built three before deciding such weapons weren't desirable, opting out of the big league by disassembling them.
It's a chilling thought isn't
"Ahhh... Caldrail... We meet again." Miss R always smiles when it's time for me to be interviewed. There's always a plastic ruler on her desk. "We've got you a vacancy to apply for."
It's hard to be enthusiastic. Not because I have to find work, but because I've already found 25 suitable vacancies under my own steam since we last spoke. I have to smile and accept it though. Applying for this extra one is mandatory under the new rules. I read the information sheet and as it happens, the job
How could any sane mortal resist a weekend of sword & sorcery on television? Furry underwear and long hair. Incredibly pathetic villains and the violent comedians who thwart their evil schemes. A part of me has some masochistic enjoyment of the genre. The rest of me cringes at the sheer awfulness of the films that portray these invented worlds.
Okay, there are one or two that aren't so bad. Armie's Conan The Barbarian retains a sort of immature exuberance. I still watch Red Sonja for it'
Once I've finished my chores for the day the world is my oyster. A small one if I'm honest, but that's the trouble with living on benefits. So with an afternoon to kill, what should I do? Something creative? Prose, artwork, or music? You have to be in that mood. Play computer games? I just don't feel the inclination. Yes, you guessed it, I decided to watch television. Why, I don't know, I just sort of felt that way.
Finally I settled on a channel called Quest. They occaisionally show some in
Dampness is the order of the day. Gone is the warm sunshine of yesterday, when I took a stroll through Lawns Wood. Getting out and about means you sometimes encounter unusual sights, and yesterday was no exception.
Firstly I came across a fashion shoot in progress. You don't see that in Swindon very often. Young ladies in the latest summer styles waited patiently as the photographers and commercial directors relayed endless instructions on poise, expression, movement, and what to do about id
If it wasn't for the television news, I wouldn't know that riots had happened in London or anywhere else. Since the violence began it's been something contained in a little box, something I only witness from the comfort of my sofa. I thought nothing of taking a stroll through town yesterday afternoon. I mean, riots always happen to other people, don't they?
I have to say it was a lovely day. Sunshine, a cool breeze, people wandering with all the time in the world. Yet something was a little
There's no avoiding it. The interview was booked. On the one hand the company offices were only thirty minutes walk away. On the other, there was no footpath all the way there. Luckily the weather had brightened since the morning, when it threatened once or twice to rain, and I made my way in pleasant if blustery conditions along the towpaths and grass verges to the isolated business park.
Once in the area, it seemed as if the whole park was deserted. No-one else was around. Nothing stirre
With a sigh I switched my computor off yesterday afternoon. Nothing to do with recalcitrant programs, impossibly tough game levels, or yet more analysis of the Tottenham Riots. It was the approach of the thunderstorm. In my experience, thunder and lightning invariably causes a blip in the electricity supply when it hits the pylons that criss-cross our local area, and that can spoil your whole day when your data vanishes into digital smoke.
So I retreated to my favourite seat with a good book
Late last night I got bored with my struggles with computers that know more about information technology that I do. Technical stuff gets a bit dull when you get nowhere with it. Instead, I decided to chill out with a video game and discovered getting trashed by pixellated space aliens is no more interesting than arguing with my computer.
For a while I listened to the radio instead. An hour or two of classic rock, an hour or two of back to back adverts for stuff you'll never buy, and an hour
Every so often we museum folk like to do something different. Some people might argue that museums are inherently dangerous with hazards that include customers, tyrannosaurus rex skeletons, or egyptian pharoahs with chips on their shoulders and enough bandages to cope. I would have to admit our little museum is a little less well stocked with such horrors.
Today we had Robot Day. Over the years there have been all manner of commercial robots available to the public. Some are clothed in fals
Earlier today I saw a young woman ambling from shop to shop, dressed in her chosen summer wear, totally at a loss to comprehend why it wasn't baking hot under a blue sky. It was as if rainfall was an alien experience to her. So either she's a seductress from another planet sent here to spawn a new super-race with us lowly earth-beings, or she's suffering the same limited memory span that most of us do. Yes, dear, sometimes it rains. Even in Swindon.
As it happens I think the rain is long ove
There are certainties in life. Day turns t night. Summer turns to winter. Bills arrive through the postbox. Nothing to watch on television. Luckily life isn't always that dull. Like yesterday. What a strange kind of evening.
To begin with the weather was fabulous. Another very warm day requiring liberal use of electric fans and cold drinks from the refridgerator. Despite this, the weathermen urged caution, because as the wise man knows, your typical briton has a memory span of three days and
Yesterday was warm. Very warm. We brits aren't used to that level of warmness. Even hardened package holidaymakers were breathing out heavily and wiping sweat from their brow as they dragged their kids from one place to another. I had no choice but to drag myself.
They do say that only mad dogs and englishmen go out in the mid day sun. Guilty. As I left the library after lunchtime to head for the shops, I crossed the triangular space where our centotaph stands. Standing in the shade of the
What's going on out there? This is a big old planet, however small Ryanair makes it seem. Time then to switch to Auntie Beeb, Britains most watched news channel, and check out world affairs unfolding from the comfort of my comfy chair.
More huffing and puffing about the US debt crisis. Apparently politicians are under pressure to find a solution, which is pretty much what ours do for a living, so obviously crises aren't as common across the Pond. Come on guys, sort yourselves out, we want so
Sunday is well named. It really is a nice day out there. This morning I couldn't resist taking a break down by the lake at Queens Park. With water levels so low, the gravel beach also exposes larger stones that make convenient seats. A flock of bemused pidgeons strut by in random directions, heads titling, trying to figure out what breed of bird I might be. Give it up guys. Your brain is too small.
The geese and swans never even stirred. They all remained curled up a few yards away. I gues
My daily routine of late has been simple. Wake up, slide clumsily out of bed, limp across to the window, and look out on yet another bright blue sky. Another fine, sunny day. Not too hot, just comfortable, at least as long you avoid strenuous activity. That's not difficult when you're unemployed.
Today though was different. A dreary grey morning with an ever present sense that drizzle is about to break out. To make things worse, today I'm scheduled to help out at the museum, and as we all kn
